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As a follower of Jesus, you probably already know you need it: More peace, more quiet, and more space. More God-time. Learn how to plan a silent retreat that will renew your spirit and re-awaken your joy.
How A Snowy Day Of Solitude Changed My Spiritual Life
I was 22 when I trudged through the snow to a little cabin at a retreat center in Minnesota. My Bible and journal in hand. A brown paper bag held lunch and a few snacks. This was my first experience with intentional solitude.
At least a dozen others with me in the Tentmakers Youth Ministry Training Program were making their way to separate spaces on the property.
I was intrigued, but unsure. Random thoughts drifted through my head:
- How am I going to fill all these hours?
- This is weird.
- Is anyone watching me?
- I’m already cold and hungry.
- Why am I doing this?
- What if nothing happens? What if it doesn’t work?
Since that snowy day, the practice of solitude has been a consistent part of my Christian life. I know I need it to be healthy and whole.
Today’s Noisy Society Chokes Out Joy, Peace, And Vision
If you:
- wake up (or fall asleep) stressed or anxious
- want to grow deeper with Christ
- battle with insecurity or self-doubt
- question God’s direction in your life
- desire more clarity in decision-making
- seek to forgive, understand, or connect more deeply with others
… a Silent Retreat is a great next step.
Practicing Silence & Solitude Provides Space
Silence And Solitude Build Margin In Our Lives
Can you imagine a book filled with print but no white space? Entirely filled?
No neatly spaced headings, no paragraph formatting, no margins…
Instead, letters literally fall off the edges of each page. From top to bottom. Side to side.
What a cluttered mess that would be!
And stressful for our eyes and confusing for our brains.
Well, that’s how most of us live in today’s society.
And it’s not healthy.
God Created Us For Margin: For Journalistic White Space On A Page
God did not create us running from one place to the next. Or responding to the 24/7 demands of cell phones & social media.
He did not create us for overwhelming multitasking. Or to be busy with to-dos before the sun comes up and after it goes down.
For most of us today, one thing follows the next without even space to breathe.
And our constant action leaves us:
- Tired
- Drained
- Spent
- Torn
Silence & Solitude Create Space For Thoughtful Processing
Silence & solitude make space for the formation of new habits. Intentional choice. A slow down for direction. Connection to inspiration.
Silence & solitude often go hand-in-hand.
The solitude we are talking about is not loneliness. It is being away from others in order to draw nearer to God.
A Silent Retreat Is One Tool For Practicing Solitude & Silence
This retreat is a retreat for one. It sets aside time for processing and, as Christ-seekers, for lots of listening to the Creator.
A Silent Retreat is a planned, loosely guided time, that could have many different purposes.
- Reconnecting with joy
- Growing deeper with God
- Letting go and/or forgiving
- Personal renewal
- Recovery from a busy season
- Retreating from anxiety to find peace
- Seeking God’s wisdom and will
- Increasing gratefulness
- Clarity in thinking
- Making better decisions
For Christians, silence and solitude are spiritual disciplines. It’s important to keep in mind that spiritual disciplines aren’t a task to earn God’s favor – they are a GIFT. Spiritual discipline are a grace given to us to soak in God’s goodness, to experience Him in our daily lives, to learn from our Creator, and to soak in His delight.
Today’s Christian Needs The Benefits Of Silent Retreats
As much as we know we need it, we hardly ever get it! Or I should say, we hardly ever take it!
Peace & Quiet: The Search & Discovery Operation Continues
In our modern culture, we are in a near-constant rhythm of achieving and failing. We are often taught that the harder we work, the more we accomplish, and the greater our lives will be.
The amount of responsibilities on any given day can be maddening.
- Working jobs
- Ministry responibilities
- Spouses
- Kids
- Grocery shopping
- Home repairs
- Volunteering
- Chauffeuring to sports & activities
- Prepping & making dinners
- Paying bills
Even when we plan well with priorities in mind, interruptions are the norm. And they seem to increase when we are at the end of our ropes.
More than ever, and more than most, we need to fight hard for some breathing space.
5 Steps To Plan A Silent Retreat
If you are going to have a sweet Silent Retreat, you probably will have to work for it.
But in my experience, it’s more than worth it.
Here are 5 steps to make it happen.
1. Schedule It
Take a good look at your calendar and clear a day, preferably within the next month. If you wait too long, your motivation might fade and other priorities might rise up to snuff it out.
To choose your day, carefully consider other commitments. Try to anticipate possible interruptions or complications to what’s already on your calendar.
Block out an entire day, even if you are only planning an 8-hour retreat.
Make this appointment firm. Put it on every calendar you have. You might not want to share what you are doing, but mark it as unavailable.
2. Choose Your Time Frame
For me, I always plan for at least 8 hours. I need a minimum of 6 hours to get the benefit I desire as a retreat day. 8-10 hours is better.
If this is your first Silent Retreat, I still recommend at least 6 hours. It is very hard to de-escalate your brain in only 2 hours.
3. Be Picky With Location
Location!!
Like real estate, this also is all about location.
I highly recommend you leave your home, for many reasons. Number one reason: Too many distractions.
When choosing a location for a time away, consider the likelihood of interruptions, temperature, availability of bathroom facilities, and comfort. If outdoors: bugs, sun, weather, and a rain plan.
You want a comfortable place that gives options for sitting, lying, and walking. A place where people will not talk to you. And needed facilities for the day.
My favorite places are always outdoors!
Some great locations to explore:
- Local park
- Spiritual retreat center
- A friend’s home who is out of town
- Nature trail or walking path with meditation areas
- A Christian camp
- Botanical garden that has spaced seating
- Church with a prayer room and/or outdoor reflection area
- A friend’s backyard/great room (who will agree to leave you alone)
4. Plan Your Food
Food makes a big difference in your day. Think healthy. And think protein.
Unless you are intentionally fasting, take some extra snacks and a healthy lunch option. Eat protein early and spaced throughout the day.
Healthy options are really important. The last thing you need is to sabotage your inspirational day with sugar and crud that drags your body down.
My go-to snacks to pack: greek yogurt, protein bars, apple, banana, baby carrots, cucumbers, and nuts. Plus a light lunch like a sandwich and chips.
5. Fill Your Backpack With Inspiration
Take more quiet time materials than you think you will need or use. Because the worst thing is not having the resources you want when you are away from home.
Here’s what typically goes in my bag for days of solitude:
- My personal journal
- Older personal journals from previous years
- Colored pens
- Bible
- Current devotional book
- An old devotional book that I used to love but haven’t read in awhile
- Something by Fenelon (or another dead monk)
- Stationery note cards (to write thankful/grateful notes)
- My To-Do List
- My calendar
- Favorite scripture passages written on pretty note cards
- Blank paper
- Extra water to drink
- A sweater in case I get chilly
- A sweatshirt to use as a pillow for a nap
- A light blanket to lay on outside (if needed)
Leave Your Electronics And Earbuds At Home
Ugh. Technology. It’s a love/hate relationship.
As a society, we are addicted to and dependent on technology. It is a continual distraction.
If you must take your cell phone, put it out of reach and on silent.
If you are nervous you will fall asleep too long or forget to go home, I suggest setting an alarm on your phone.
You don’t need to check the time during the day. In fact, it’s better if you don’t.
If you are someone’s primary caregiver, leave a different emergency contact number and let any calls go there for the day. Communicate you have an appointment and will be unavailable.
Electronics Will Wreck Your Silent Day
It doesn’t matter if your only intention is to read or listen to worship on your device.
Fight the urge. Conquer the addiction. Put it away. It’s just for one day.
Let God do something new.
Things To Do On Your Silent Retreat
When you arrive at your pre-planned ideal location, with your backpack of inspiration and your healthy snacks, just sit. And be.
- If you have never meditated, close your eyes and say, “Be still and know that I am God.” Take slow, deep breaths, and repeat that phrase with every exhale. Over and over until it fills your being.
- Journal when you want to.
- Read your God-stuff when you feel inspired.
- Drift in and out of a holy rest (my favorite thing).
- For more specific ideas, download my 25 Things To Do On A Silent Retreat When You’re Not Sure What To Do!
If You Are Still Feeling Unsure About Taking A Day Away
Remind Yourself: It Is Purely Healthy
For your body. Your mind. And your spirit.
Just do it!
We don’t grow when we stay in our comfort zone. Only when we are on the edge.
Try something that has been practiced for centuries and learn why it is a foundational element of the Christian life.
Get Yourself Some Accountability
Lastly, find a wise, trusted friend who cares about your well-being and your personal health.
Tell them you need encouragement. Show them this article and the 5 steps, and enlist their help in forming your plan.
No, they can’t go with you! But they can hold you accountable.
A Silent Retreat is one step in clearing out the cobwebs in your mind and your spirit, so you can uncover the treasures God has for you!
You wouldn’t have even read this article if you didn’t have some quickening in your spirit. And you definitely wouldn’t have read the entire post!
So follow the 5 steps and plan your silent retreat.
As always, if you have questions for me or an experience to share, please leave a comment or shoot me an email. I’d love to hear from you.
Read More
No More Burnout: Quit Trying So Hard
I just finished your article about the silent retreat and I love this idea! I retired from teaching at the end of this past year. The first week of the summer we went to FL for a few days. Every morning after breakfast, I went by the beach under a shelter and stayed there for as long as I could. I had my Bible, phone, iPad and journal.
My focus was on learning all I could about worship leading, reading my Bible, listening to worship songs, and prayer. It was the most peaceful, relaxing vacation I’ve ever been on. It was a great way to begin retirement!
Pam, how did I miss this comment? I’m sorry I’m so late in responding to this. Silent retreats are so renewing, aren’t they? Love it.
I like how you said that you can form new habits while in silence and solitude. I love my kids but they drive me crazy sometimes. I would love to go to a retreat with my wife so we can get some peaceful silence in our lives.
Yes, lots of new habits can form when we get the space to intentionally choose. Thank you for your comment!
I love this idea…. I want to schedule this now. I plan to do the Creative LIttle Church Retreat Day – July 18, and then I think it should become a monthly habit – even for a few hours. I love this very practical set of directions for doing something so spiritual – connecting with our Creator in His creation.
This saves my sanity and keeps me steady! Creating space with silent retreats is a love of mine! Thank you for sharing your response!
Is this part of the Unchangeable retreat?
Hi Edith! Thanks for your question! It is not a part of the Unchangeable God retreat, but they are definitely related. The Unchangeable God retreat is personal retreat that can be adapted for a silent retreat, but doesn’t need to be. Along with the Unchangeable God videos & guidebook are tons of other resources like a spotify worship playlist, scripture audios and more. The Unchangeable God retreat might be a step toward a silent retreat for those who have not experienced a personal spiritual retreat before. But the resources and ideas in this post can totally help people prepare for Unchangeable God! Click here to access the Unchangeable God retreat: Unchangeable God!
I love this Silent Retreat plan. I would have a very difficult time getting away to a quiet place, but I never go to bed early so that would be the only time I would have for a silent retreat because after everyone is in bed it is very quiet. This time at night would be a perfect time for me to spend a few hours with God. Please pray for me that I can make and keep this commitment to spend more time with my Heavenly Father. God Bless you.
That is a beautiful idea! Praying for you now!