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Comparison culture is certainly not a new phenomenon. Comparison has wreaked destruction and brought discontent throughout human history.
But in today’s world, fueled by social media, readily available statistics for each denomination and every church, or even our drive to Sunday worship as we pass by several churches, we as church leaders can be tempted to compare ourselves and the work we do to a variety of other ministries.
Comparison sparks one of two emotions:
We either begin to feel pride for our success (where others lag behind), or discontent because we fail (in our own estimation) to meet the bar of achievement others have set.
Nicki Koziarz defines comparison as:
Feeling less-than. The desire for feeling better-than. Replacing my reality with my wants.
In our most rational moments, we as Christians and church leaders recognize how destructive a comparison culture can be. But how do we avoid comparison culture in small church ministry without falling into guilt or pride?
As I researched for this article, I found both Scripture and modern Christian writers who offer insight into how we can overcome the urge to compare ourselves, our churches, and our ministries to others.
Comparison: Is It Really That Bad?
The trap of comparison is that we no longer measure ourselves or our ministry by God’s standard. Instead, we choose a man-made measuring stick to determine not only our success but also our worth. Insidiously, the lie that we are inadequate or the lie that we are better than others begin to take root and flourish. When we compare, we turn from seeking God’s will and design for us.
Instead, we create a false set of standards that either fuel our pride or create insecurity. Working from the false premise created by comparison, we as church leaders can create an environment full of discouragement and discontent for volunteers and congregants. Comparison also sets the stage for the spiritual and emotional tragedy of failing to believe we are who God says we are.
But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name.
John 1:12
…knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin.
Romans 6:6
Jesus even spoke directly to this issue in a parable:
He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt:
“Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’
But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’
I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Luke 18:9-14 ESV
What The Bible Says About Our Identity And Ministry
In her book, Why Her?, Nicki Koziarz reminds us that:
Comparison is a battle to see whose truth—ours or God’s—we allow to rule our thoughts or actions.
The Truth of Scripture is our most potent weapon for our struggle against the trap of comparison. When we saturate our minds and spirits with God’s Word, our thoughts align with His, where we find freedom from comparison.
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10 NIV
I can do all this through Him, Who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13 NIV
It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore, keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1
In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will.
Ephesians 1:10b–11
These and other verses remind us that each of us is created uniquely and specifically for His purposes. Isaiah 55:9–11 speaks powerfully to our insecurity. God reminds us that He is in control and that we only need to be obedient to see His purposes accomplished.
I don’t think the way you think. The way you work isn’t the way I work. For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think. Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth, doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, so will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed. They’ll do the work I sent them to do, they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.
Isaiah 55:10–11 MSG
7 Biblical And Practical Ways to Avoid Comparison Culture In Small Church Ministry
1. Pray
Ask God to show you His plan for your life and ministry. Throughout the Bible, God lovingly reminds us that He designed us uniquely so we can accomplish work that no one else can do. Once we glimpse His plan for us and trust that we are here in this place for a reason, comparison drops by the wayside. I encourage you to study Ephesians 2:10, Romans 12:6-8, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Jeremiah 29:11, and even Exodus chapter 31 as you consider the gifts God has placed within you and your congregation to fulfill a specific purpose for His kingdom.
2. Intentionally Practice Gratitude
I read the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp several years ago, and her thoughts on gratitude challenged me to reflect on my own sin of ingratitude. I underlined in red one particular passage:
Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren’t satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other.
This clearly assesses why we are so vulnerable to the comparison culture. Ingratitude.
To avoid the comparison trap, I encourage you to embrace a radical determination to express gratitude. If we express gratitude daily, in all situations, there is no room for the discontent of comparison to grow. When we focus on the great things that God is doing, we take our eyes off ourselves and instead emphasize all He is accomplishing.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8 NIV
3. Repent
If the challenge to practice gratitude caused you to remember times you have compared rather than rejoiced in how God was working, repent. Right now, not later, when you have had time to rationalize away the prompting of the Holy Spirit, repent! Our Father is gracious and loves to restore us to Fellowship with Himself! He will forgive you and strengthen you.
If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].
1 John 1:9 AMP
4. Make Obedience Your Plumb Line
God is most concerned with our obedience and the condition of our hearts. If we need to compare anything, let it be how much more fully obedient we are now than in the past. Are we growing in obedience? How quickly do we move to obey, and how fully do we commit to follow the leading of God?
Scripture is clear: God considers disobedience to be a terrible thing (1 Samuel 15:23). God values our obedience and calls it “better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22). Read 1 Corinthians 12:1–3 with a humble heart. Let obedience to the mission and work He gave you be the plumbline you measure yourself against.
5. Serve With Joy
Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!
Psalm 110:1–2 ESV
The joy of the Lord is your strength
Nehemiah 8:10
Fulfilling our God-ordained purpose, ministering to others, and seeing lives impacted by His love is a source of great joy and satisfaction! Don’t sacrifice true joy by comparing yourself or your ministry to another.
6. Celebrate With Others
Satan is a thief and a liar. One of his biggest lies is that when others have a success or victory, it diminishes us. Comparison leads us to believe there is a “limited amount of success.” What an absolute lie! Counteract his lies by genuinely celebrating with others.
If we praise God and celebrate how others are winning souls for Christ or otherwise advancing His kingdom, we are much less tempted to throw a comparison pity-party! By the same token, if we pray with and encourage one who feels discouraged, we bypass the urge to feel superior. (Romans 12:15)
7. Don’t Believe All That You Read
In today’s world of social media, we are wise to remember that every reel and every post is carefully curated to show the best possible version of others’ lives. Who knows what the 5 seconds before or after capturing that perfect picture were truly like! Don’t fall into the temptation of comparing your whole ministry to a carefully staged image.
Captivated By Purpose
Although comparison culture is certainly not new to the human race (think Cain and Abel), we may find it more difficult to escape in today’s digital world. But these seven tips may help us successfully navigate next time we are tempted to compare our ministry to another:
- Pray
- Intentionally Practice Gratitude
- Repent
- Make Obedience Your Plumb Line
- Serve With Joy
- Celebrate With Others
- Don’t Believe All You Read
I came across a quote by Bob Goff that I think rings very true:
We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose.
Allow yourself to be captivated by His purpose for you and your ministry!lf to be captivated by His purpose for you and your ministry!
Read More:
10 Challenges Of Leading Youth Ministry: Top Tips For Navigating
7 Helpful Tips For Navigating Challenges In Women’s Ministry
Carla Adams is a wife, a nurse, and a women’s ministry leader. As an author and a speaker, she seeks to encourage women to use their God-given tools, talents, and gifts to serve Him and others.
