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Learn how to make sense of behavior patterns and how to address behavior appropriately and effectively within your small church ministry.
Part 3: Making A Plan
Are behavior challenges in your small church children’s or youth ministry leaving you scratching your head, losing volunteers, or clashing with others? Behavior Analyst Holly Sharpe shares her techniques to help make sense of behavior patterns and address behavior appropriately and effectively in part 3 of this three-part series.
Parts 1 & 2 Recap
We have all been there — challenging behavior in our children’s or youth ministry can pop up anytime, leaving us frustrated or at a loss for how to keep the peace in weekly services. The good news is, you can be well-prepared to manage and address behavior problems, and I will remind you how!
In part 1 of this series, we learned how to chart behavior. In part 2, we learned how to identify patterns and predict what function the behavior is serving.
Understanding Behavior Recap
- Make a three-column ABC chart.
- Write what you see and hear before the behavior happens, what the behavior looks like, and what happens after the behavior.
- Look for patterns in the before, during, and after of behavior.
- Make a guess about the function of behavior: For attention, escape, or to get something?
Now that we have had a quick review, it’s time to get down to business. What do we do with our behavior chart and our ideas about what is causing the behavior problem?
First, I want to share another saying with you that is common in the world of behavior analysis:
In God we trust; all others bring data.
It’s funny but true: Your three-column behavior chart is actually valuable anecdotal data that will help you solve and address the problem!
- Identify your “guess” at the function: For attention, escape, or access to something?
- Identify your “instead” — what would you like the child to do instead of the problem behavior?
- Adjust the environment.
- Teach the behavior you want to see.
- Reinforce or strengthen the desired behavior.
Identify The Function
When looking at your three-column behavior chart, what patterns did you see? Is the behavior happening reliably when it’s time to clean up toys? Is the child given something to calm or quiet their behavior each time? Do adults or other children engage them in conversation or discussion each time the behavior happens? Make your best guess about the function; you can always try something different if you guessed wrong!
Looking for a step-by-step guide to starting or restarting your children’s ministry?
Check out the Children’s Ministry Bundle For Small Churches!
Signs that behavior is attention-seeking:
- They are “putting on a show” for others that are watching
- Trying new behaviors that they haven’t before
- Behavior does not improve with lectures, scolding, or discussion
- The child laughs while doing the behavior
- Tries to make eye contact while doing behavior
Signs that behavior is used to escape or delay something:
- Behavior occurs when a child is called on or asked to participate
- Child may shrink down, put their head down, or hide
- Behavior occurs when it is group activity time
- They may come up with reasons to leave the area
- They are avoiding coming to class
Signs that behavior is used to get something:
- Behavior repeatedly happens in the presence of a desired object/activity
- The same behavior takes different forms: like whining, screaming, repeating questions, making demands, and/or crying –– all about the same thing
- Giving them what they want stops the behavior
Signs that behavior is about automatic reinforcement:
- Rare for children with no medical issues or special needs
- Usually occurs with issues like seizures or self-injurious behavior
I hope these hints about each function of behavior have helped you solidify your guess at why the behavior is happening! Now let’s talk about replacement behaviors.
Identify The “Instead”
If a given behavior is undesirable, there must be an opposite desired behavior — or a behavior you want them to use instead of that undesirable one.
Think about the behavior your kiddo is demonstrating. What would you rather them do instead? Is there a more appropriate behavior to get their need met? What would be the safest or most effective way for them to get their needs met?
When we know what function a behavior serves, we can identify an appropriate replacement behavior for it.
Sample Replacement Behaviors For Attention-Seeking Behavior:
- Raise your hand
- Tap your teacher on the shoulder
- Use kind words
Sample Replacement Behaviors For Escape Behavior:
- Use an alternate way to answer or participate
- Use kind words
- Ask for help
Sample Replacement Behaviors To Get Something:
- Use a visual
- Use kind words
- Wait for the right time
Remember, replacement behaviors should meet the behavior need in the same way, but be more appropriate. For example, if a child screamed each time he wanted a snack, an appropriate replacement behavior would be for the child to ask politely for a snack. Both behaviors could result in the child getting a snack, but only one behavior is appropriate and should be strengthened.
Adjust The Environment
Sometimes a behavior happens because there is something happening in the environment that sets the stage each time. Recognizing these environmental conditions and adjusting them as necessary can often prevent the behavior from happening in the first place!
Setting Conditions For Attention-Seeking Behavior:
- Unstructured time
- Chaotic, noisy, or cluttered environment
- “Boring” or age-inappropriate activities
- Bad mood at drop-off
Setting Conditions For Escape Behavior:
- Transitions between classroom activities
- All eyes on the kiddo
- Expectations aren’t clear
Setting Conditions For Behaviors To Get Something:
- Desirable object is in sight or proximity
- Schedule of activities isn’t clear
- Child is hungry, tired, or bored
Considering the environment, your classroom or ministry area is the first part of making a plan to address behavior by preventing problems from arising in the first place.
For example, if your kiddo has a tantrum for crackers before it is snack time, solve this by putting the crackers out of sight until it is time to pass them out to the children.
Another example: A child starts pushing your buttons or getting into mischief when it is free-play time. Meet them each week during class with a special job you need their help with or a structured activity to keep them engaged.
Last example: If a child refuses to move on each week when it’s time to clean up toys, give them a clean-up countdown to help them prepare to transition.
One thing I always encourage teachers to do is to post a visual schedule of the things they will do during their class time. This helps children know what to expect and when!
Now that your environment has been checked and you know what behavior you want to see from your kiddo, let’s talk about teaching!
Teaching Desired Behavior
This is easier than you might think — you can use a simple protocol to make a big difference:
- Teach
- Reinforce
- Repeat
The first thing you need to do is teach the behavior you want to see instead of the problem behavior. Then, depending on the behavior that you want to address, there are different effective ways to teach replacement behaviors.
Ways To Teach Replacement Behaviors:
- Read a Social Story
- Use a visual
- Model the behavior
- Practice the behavior
Social Stories usually consist of a paragraph explaining what behavior you want to see in a situation using words and pictures. You can read a quick Social Story to a child at the beginning of class and remind them about it throughout the day as needed.
Example Social Story
I like to eat crackers for a snack. Sometimes we have crackers. Sometimes we are out of crackers and we have pretzels instead. I can ask my teacher, “Can I have crackers?” and she can help me. If there are no crackers, I can choose to eat pretzels or wait until I get home for crackers. I can ask my teacher to please buy crackers for a snack.
In addition to social stories, I recommend using visuals as reminders for appropriate behavior. I have printed images or words off the internet and pasted them onto index cards to have as a quick reference or reminder for a child working on learning a new behavior. For example, if I want to teach a child to raise their hand for my attention instead of blurting out, I would print a picture of a raised hand and hold it up each time they blurted out to remind them to raise their hand. Visuals are wonderful tools because they require little effort and can help keep a class running smoothly.
You can describe the behavior you want to see and then model it for the child. Many children enjoy imitating a model or role-playing to practice new behavior. Modeling doesn’t have to be just with adults — peers can model desired behaviors, and teachers can use dolls or toys to model new behaviors as well.
In addition, give opportunities to practice the new behavior. Learning a new behavior means changing a habit, and it takes time and consistency.
Let’s talk about how to strengthen the new behavior once the child is using it.
Reinforcing Desired Behavior
Reinforcement is the process of strengthening a behavior. Positive reinforcement, or the addition of a consequence, is particularly effective at strengthening those behaviors we want to see.
When a child engages in a new, appropriate, or desired behavior, and you want to see it happen more often, it is time to reinforce!
Examples Of Reinforcement:
- Praise
- High five, hug, fist bump
- Sticker, stamp, prize
- Chocolate chip, mini marshmallow, lollipop
- Turn your attention to them
- Give them space
- Give them what they ask politely for
You can tailor how you reinforce to the function of the behavior. For example, if a child is engaging in attention-seeking behavior, then you could reinforce appropriate attention-seeking behavior with your positive attention!
For a child that is learning to appropriately decline to participate in an activity, you could reinforce their appropriate behavior by agreeing to give them their space.
Another example: When a child is engaging in an appropriate behavior to get something, you could reinforce their appropriate way of asking or accessing by giving them what they want.
The more frequently and consistently you provide reinforcement for the desired behavior, the quicker the behavior can become a habit.
Don’t forget to reinforce even if the child needed some help from you to use an appropriate behavior! For example, if a child started blurting out questions but then saw the visual you used to remind him to raise his hand and began doing that instead, you would still want to reinforce that behavior, even though he needed a reminder.
Now you have completed your crash course in behavior management!
I hope the tips and tools in this 3-part series have helped you feel more confident in addressing behavior challenges that come your way in your small church ministry. You can find me in the Creative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook community for support or answers to your behavior questions!
Looking for a step-by-step guide to starting or restarting your children’s ministry?
Check out the Children’s Ministry Bundle For Small Churches!
Read More
Behavior Management In Children’s Ministry For Small Churches
Behavior Management: Identifying Behavior Patterns For Small Churches
