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If you’re tired of planning meetings where no one shows up or wondering how to build a team if you can’t get anyone to come to training, this post is for you. Learn how to take your meetings beyond information and toward transformation instead. Turn boring meetings into vision casting, team building, and dynamic results by learning:
- The real reason people don’t come to meetings
- Why time really is more important than money
- Four elements to include in every great meeting
- How to turn meetings into parties that get things done
The Real Reason People Don’t Come To Meetings
“I survived another meeting that should’ve been an email.” The first time I saw this meme on Facebook, I nearly spit out my coffee because it was so funny and SO true –– and maybe, especially in churches. However, I don’t think it should be true; I don’t think church should be a place where people avoid meetings because they don’t want to waste their time.
If you’re a church bogged down by committees, or you get an eye roll if you bring up the need for another meeting, there’s a reason for that, but there is also a solution. To get to the solution, we need to understand the issue.
Most people don’t come to meetings because:
- They don’t think it will make a difference.
- Even if you said it’s required, they don’t believe you.
Both of these are completely valid reasons because, more often than not, many years of meetings haven’t made a difference, and most small churches really do feel desperate. So they don’t hold to the standards and requirements they set.
Here’s my best advice:
- Stop having meetings that don’t make a difference.
- Stop being desperate (because we don’t need to be).
Time Is Valuable; Don’t Waste Theirs
Let’s take a step back and recognize that the reason people don’t value meetings isn’t that your meetings aren’t worthwhile, and it’s not because you don’t have something important to say. It’s because people have sat through countless meetings that waste their time and everyone else’s.
Time itself is really interesting. On one hand, it’s infinite; we have eternity, which is why there is no need to hurry. God’s got this, and we do not have to feel desperate or rushed.
On the other hand, as far as our days on earth, time is one of those things that is finite. We really only have so many minutes before the sun sets on a given day and in the entirety of our lives. I’ve heard people complain that most people would rather give their money than their time, and it’s true. Here’s why: People can get more money, but they can’t get more time. Time is much more precious than money, so don’t waste it, and don’t waste theirs.
Many meetings are a waste of time. We waste people’s time when we have meetings that could have happened in emails, run the meeting too long, don’t have a clear purpose, or don’t plan well. While it’s true that there are as many personalities and preferences as people on the planet, and we definitely can’t keep everyone’s attention 100% of the time, there are general principles about meetings that can have an incredible impact on your ministry culture and your reputation as a leader.
Whether you’re a pro at leading meetings or you’re an “accidental leader” feeling like a newbie, keep reading! We’re going to shine some light on what may be missing and, hopefully, a few new things to add to your skill set!
3 Reasons You Should Not Have A Meeting
Please do not have a meeting if your main purpose falls in one of the following 3 areas.
1. Information
If all you’re trying to do is share information, whether it’s explaining what’s in a brochure, updating people on programs, noting changes, or expressing anything that could be typed up onto a piece of paper, it’s a waste of time to have a meeting. Send an email instead.
2. Inspiration
If you want to inspire people about what’s already happening, but have no plan to respond or adjust with their input, don’t have a meeting. I’m not saying there’s no place for inspiration, but if that’s the whole of it, don’t schedule a meeting. People don’t need to spend their time on your desire to get them to rally around you.
3. Scolding Or Sour Meetings (Meetings To Reprimand)
Lastly, please don’t have meetings for the purpose of scolding and/or correcting the behavior of someone on your team or even your whole team. These go badly. Maybe you don’t mean to scold, but it ends up coming off that way. Maybe you’re frustrated, angry, or not looking to the future –– and you want to share that. If that’s you right now, please don’t lead a meeting.
I am not saying you need to step down or that your feelings aren’t important. They are. However, get some rest and healing before you stand in front of a team. If there’s a needed meeting and you’re feeling crabby, let someone else lead the meeting.
The One Valid Reason To Hold A Meeting
The one valid reason to hold a meeting is to bring people together for a collective purpose to create change, respond to their input, and go deeper into relationships. If you want to stop wasting people’s time and start watching the investment pay off, this is the key.
Purposeful meetings are about sharing between people, gathering input and wisdom, and cultivating relationships. This is the Body of Christ, and it’s how God set up the church to be.
As the church, we’re created to be interdependent, to live and serve in community with one another. When we bring people together for sharing as well as listening, meetings become an opportunity to embrace principles that lead to lasting change, personal growth, and a purposeful community.
4 Things Every Great Meeting Needs
Keep these 4 principles in mind to make your meetings edifying, impactful, and influential.
1. Have A Clear Purpose
Before you even plan to have a meeting, make sure you have a clear purpose that leads to results. Remember, no one needs more information, but everyone wants to be part of something that makes a difference. So why are you meeting?
Here are a few great reasons to have a meeting:
- Team training & developing skills
- Building relationships
- Getting input to make a change
- Creating next steps together and sharing the weight of ministry
As you consider your purpose, choose how often you’ll meet and how long your meetings will last based on the results you want to achieve. There’s nothing magic about having monthly meetings. Depending on your purpose, sometimes quarterly meetings can be more effective.
As you give yourself permission to think outside the box, consider the life seasons and availability of your team, how meeting together will benefit others, and what’s really needed for the results you want to achieve.
2. Build In Connection & Care
Doing ministry like Jesus always involves caring for people, and this doesn’t happen by accident. If we want great connections and deepening relationships, we have to plan for it. Keep these 3 things in mind:
- You will lead better if you have a personal connection with each person you invite. They need to not only feel important to you but BE important to you.
- People long to be seen. When they speak, they long to be listened to. Be that person who sees and hears.
- Icebreakers set a welcoming tone, even if everyone already knows each other. Please don’t skip this! Even for the most familiar of friends, we always have opportunities to know each other more and grow deeper in relationships.
3. Plan For Collective Input
Although most meetings leave space for input and feedback, usually only a few voices in a room are ever heard.
More often than not, a few ‘talkers’ monopolize conversations, and while their input can be valuable, so are the other voices at the table.
We humans each have a brain and we each have a voice, but a big difference between us is that some of us speak before we think, and others think before they speak. What commonly happens is the ‘talkers’ talk and everyone moves on before the ‘thinkers’ speak their wisdom.
Here’s a tip: Don’t let your ‘talkers’ talk before your ‘thinkers’ think. Start the sharing with the thinkers and prioritize their ideas. If you wonder how to make this happen, try this:
- Start by saying something like this: “I’d love to know what you all think about ____. Before we share out loud, I’d love for everyone to take a minute and write down just a few thoughts on how that’s going.”
- After the individual writing time, share what’s been written in the group. Make sure to call on your thinkers first. If the group is larger or your time is limited, have people share in pairs or smaller groups. However you share, ensure that everyone’s thoughts are heard. If you’re intentional about creating an encouraging culture, their thoughts will not only be heard but valued too.
Another great way to get collective input has to do with closing your meetings well. At the end of meetings, start a habit of having everyone share their highlights.
Great questions to ask are: Why are you glad you came? What was your favorite takeaway? Or, what did you learn that you didn’t know before you came?
For the most effective close, be sure to allow enough time for everyone to share a highlight.
4. Follow Through & Follow Up
The biggest tragedy in church meetings is all the beautiful ideas that never come to be. This usually is not because of a lack of vision, resources, or time. The biggest reason our vision doesn’t come to be is a simple lack of follow-through. And it’s completely solvable –– at every single meeting. Follow these steps for better follow-through:
- Any decided action or next step to take needs a person attached to it. This person needs to willingly and happily accept the task.
- Every action or next step needs a time attached to it and a calendar date.
- I highly recommend a recap of the meeting be sent to everyone present as well as everyone who was not. This is a great sign of a church culture that is committed to seeing results (not just wasting time).
- Individually thank people for coming. Not only does this let them know their presence made a difference, but it is an encouragement to come again.
- Follow up with people who didn’t show up. Ask if they are okay, get their input on ideas discussed, and let them know that they were missed.
- Revisit all action items at your next gathering every time with positivity and encouragement toward the desired result.
Host Meetings People Want To Come To
My last suggestion is to turn meetings into parties by adding some food, atmosphere, and fun. Try to use the word “meeting” less and promote parties, workshops, training, idea sessions, and retreats instead. This positive twist helps communicate that your meetings are different than what they’ve experienced in the past.
In the midst of your purposeful planning, add these:
1. Food
Be ready with a few snacks, drinks, candies, anything really! Food breaks the ice and feels welcoming like someone’s been waiting for you to arrive.
2. Atmosphere
Do what you can to prioritize comfort and minimize distractions. Consider creative options for meeting spaces, table setup, and more. If the church feels cold, consider meeting at home for more of a relational feel.
3. Fun
Parties are filled with people who want to be there, not with people who have to be there. So make your gatherings happy, create relational connections, greet people with warm smiles, and keep it positive. There’s plenty of negativity and argument out in the world. We don’t need more of the same at church.
Great Meetings Invest Time Instead Of Wasting It
If you’re a leader asking for people’s time, make it worth their investment. People have valid reasons to avoid meetings since their past experience has proven most meetings don’t lead to change. Show them something different.
To hold meetings people actually want to come to, know your purpose, stay positive, and lead with principles that value and include those you invite. Show that you care not just about your agenda but about them.
In The Small Church Academy, we break down the leadership principles on the blog and in our podcasts into actionable bite-size steps to equip people in small churches to be an incredible influence. Included in the academy are doable strategies and detailed plans for vision parties, planning parties, team training, development events, and so much more. If you’re looking for training and support to implement change in your small church, learn more here: The Small Church Academy
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