087: The Power Of Christmas: Do These 3 Things (No Burnout Required)

087: The Power Of Christmas: Do These 3 Things (No Burnout Required)

Laurie Graham 0:01
Hey, this is Laurie Graham. Welcome to the Small Church Ministry Podcast.

Laurie Graham 0:15
Hey, welcome back to Episode 87 of the Small Church Ministry Podcast. Today’s a really special episode because we’re going to be talking about one of the most amazing events in history, and not just history, but even present day, the coming of a Babe in a manger, God incarnate. Have you stopped recently to think about what that means, God incarnate, about the Spirit of God in the flesh, angels singing, a virgin birth, a star, the Magi? There’s so much wrapped around this Christmas story that we have heard for many, many years, and I want to talk about the opportunity we have today. The church at Christmas time, here in the 21st century, yes, with all the consumerism, the focus on gifts and trees and sparkles, and the opportunity that I’m talking about has nothing to do with this supposed at war on Christmas, because I’m pretty against this war on Christmas, or it’s not going to be about how we should be angry at the world for cannibalizing Christmas, it’s not going to be about sending memes around social media, taking a stand against the saying “Happy Holidays.” Like that’s an affront to Christianity.

That is not what we’re going to talk about today because honestly, I am not angry at the world for turning my Christmas into a consumer holiday because they haven’t changed my Christmas. The term Happy Holidays does not offend me at all, and here’s why. Why would I expect anyone who has not experienced the love and grace of Jesus to embrace what I embrace about Christmas? Like why would they? But I do know this. I do know that one of my jobs on this planet is to draw people to Jesus, and you know what’s not going to draw people to Jesus? Angry, spiteful Christians who are angry about happy holidays and let everyone in the world know it. Now, I get it. Like, I really do get why so many people, you know, get upset or angry or frustrated or even just sad that the world does not embrace the Christ in Christmas, but I just want to say, it doesn’t affect my Christmas and it doesn’t need to affect yours. And as the church, as small churches dotting the globe, we have an incredible opportunity at Christmas, and I just want to say, most small churches are not taking advantage of the opportunity that I’m going to talk about today. And if you want to say Happy Holidays to me, I’m going to say thank you for wishing me happiness. Thank you for sharing love at Christmas time. Thank you for smiling at strangers and being able to wish each other, the planet Happy Holidays over the Christmas season.

Laurie Graham 3:09
Now, as a Christian, if you’re listening, and you disagree with me, and you want to fight this war on Christmas, okay, I can’t believe that’s even a term. However, it’s totally fine if you disagree with me. I’m going to totally love you that just the same too, but what we’re going to talk about today is what we all have in common, which is Jesus and small churches. So today, I want to look at this amazing opportunity we have as the church at Christmas time, even with, and maybe as we talk about today, maybe even especially because of the consumerism and the secularism of this holiday. The world’s take on Christmas doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t change the intimacy I experience with Jesus, how I experienced the day of Christmas, the season of Christmas, or the rest of my year. Because I just want to say, I love it, that people who don’t even know Jesus celebrate this day. I love that the vast majority of the world in some way acknowledges Jesus Christ in some way. I love that children ask why somebody has a manger in their front yard or even what that is, instead of the inflatable dinosaur with the Santa hat. I love that people prioritize relationships and family time during the holidays. I love that we decorate with twinkle lights. It is a beautiful time of the year, and I don’t think any of that minimizes what Christ came for.

I don’t believe it disparages the message of the Gospel, I actually think it shines a light on the need for a Savior, for grace, for peace, for something more than what this world has to give, because all the gifts on the planet, all the twinkle lights in the whole world, it does not obliterate our need for a Savior. I actually think it shines a light on a unique season of opportunity to share the Gospel and the love of Christ, because isn’t it in darkness that light shines the brightest? I believe that our love and our grace and our joy, in the middle of the season of consumerism, is an act of peace and drawing people to Jesus. By the end of this episode, you’re actually going to have three simple, but powerful, specific ways that you and your church can make the most of the Christmas opportunity. Whether you are a Sunday school teacher, you lead a women’s Bible study, you volunteer with the kids, you’re a pastor, anyway you’re involved in your small church, these three specific ways are going to counter some of the biggest mistakes that we are seeing small churches make right now.

Laurie Graham 5:57
And before we dive too deeply, I just also want to be clear, it is true, there is nothing in the Bible that says we need to come, commemorate Christmas. It’s not a sacrament. It’s not a commandment. There’s no mandate in the Word of God, that we need to celebrate Christmas. There’s even some controversy around Christmas, and I just want to acknowledge it. The history of it, it’s a little mixed. There was a pagan tradition that kind of turned into Christmas, and actually, Christmas became the Christian replacement for it. And if you want to opt out of Christmas, you totally can, but I love Christmas. Not only is it a national holiday here in the US, but it’s celebrated around the world in so many different ways. Think of it. Christmas is the one time of year where everybody acknowledges Jesus in some way, in their way, in a different way, maybe yes, but it’s, there’s an acknowledgement of His birth. In history, His name is all over the planet. Christmas also is a time that motivates people to do good. There is more charity that happens over the Christmas season, more acknowledgement of needs in this world. The Red Kettle with the ringing bell, Tiny Tim and the Christmas Carol, like how many people are motivated for kindness and generosity and love over the Christmas holiday. There’s something about the spirit of Christmas, and I believe it’s the spirit of Jesus in Christmas.

And another reason why Christmas is so unique, there is not another time in the, in the year, where family and relationships and friendships are prioritized more. There’s more opportunities, or at least people think of it, of broken relationships and reconciliation, giving gifts to people that maybe are people who are a little on the fringe or people we’ve been alienated from, kids coming home to visit their parents after they’ve moved away. Now I know this doesn’t happen in every family for certain and we’re going to talk about that, but Christmas is a time when we are motivated to thinking about strengthening relationships. Like how godly is that? So yes, even though Christmas, December 25th isn’t Christ’s actual birthday. If you didn’t know that, I don’t mean to ruin the, you know, to ruin the fun there, but it’s not. Yes, Christmas became a replacement for a pagan holiday that used to exist around the time period, and yes, Christmas has become a bit more equal to cash than Christ with all the consumerism and the emphasis on gifts and spending. There definitely is a wide, widening gap between the have and the have nots at Christmas. But at the same time, the name of Jesus has spoken all over the world, people are motivated to good will and generosity and relationships are prioritized over a position during this time a year. So let’s talk about small churches and our opportunity, how we can make the most of it, how we are not in many, many times and places, how we can do better, mistakes we can avoid.

Laurie Graham 9:14
So in all the buzz leading up to this Christmas conference, if you’re new with us, we have an amazing online conference happening 2023, on September 23rd. This is our 13th online conference for small churches and we are so excited, and before our conferences, we start the conversation, because we want to make sure we are speaking into the current struggles of small churches right now. And I just want to tell you, two of the biggest things we’ve heard in our community of small churches about Christmas, because I’ll put polls out what’s your biggest struggle at Christmas time, how can we help you the most at Christmas, what are some ministry issues that come up, and I just want to tell you the two main things I’m hearing over and over again. The first one is this. It’s too much. We’re counting down to December 26th. There’s so much burnout. Too many things are on the calendar. We feel like we’re competing with family time. The kids program exhausts us. Like, oh my goodness, if we have to make another kid stand up front and sing when they don’t want to, the rehearsals leading up to it, all of that, we fill our calendar too full at Christmas. We don’t enjoy Christmas ourselves. The biggest struggle is keeping Jesus at the center of our hearts at Christmas? Should that be? Absolutely not.

Our doing should not be replacing our being. In small churches, I get it, we are spread thin, but I want to say, that whole theme of Christmas is too much and it’s exhausting, and we can’t wait till it’s over, that makes me so sad. It is not right and I get it. We see it, but it does not have to be like that. And I have solutions for you. Now I have to be honest, I thought that was exactly what we were building our conference for, and it is part of it, but the second thing surprised me so much. On the flip side of people in churches saying we do too much, it’s burnout, we fill our calendars too full, I hear other churches saying we don’t do anything special at Christmas time. We have answered that struggle of too much with scaling back, especially since COVID. We stopped doing these programs and we are happier. Our ministry leaders are less stressed. It’s very relaxed. It’s better for our families. And I’ve heard people say Christmas isn’t different at our church, other than the message, than any other time of year. And I just want to say wait, what? Like what? Not only do I love Christmas, but this, in some way, bristles against so much of my being. Now there’s health in it. Yes. Our ministry leaders aren’t distressed, it’s better for our families, there is health in that. But can I say, it does not have to be either/ or.

Laurie Graham 12:12
We don’t need to go from doing too much to doing so little, because there is an opportunity at Christmas time in our world that exists only at Christmas time. These are not the only two options: burnout or nothing special. So please do make a big deal about Christmas. Christmas is amazing. God in the flesh, our Creator, our amazing Creator of the universe sent His Son, God in the flesh, to be with us on this planet, to walk this planet with humans. This is so amazing. So please, do something special, do something amazing, and at the same time, I want to say: Doing amazing things in your small church at Christmas does not mean you need to over-program, it does not mean you need to burn out your leaders. I want to show you how you can make a huge deal about Christmas without burning anyone out. We do not need to do more. We do not need to compete with other Christmas celebrations happening at school or work or community. And yes, parents of young children are often burnt out already. They’re going to the Christmas concerts and the plays, and we have sports even happening in December in so many parts of the world.

We don’t need to compete. We don’t need to add a bunch of stuff to the calendar, but I really, I really want to say, I believe we are called to shine the light of Christ. We should feel compelled to do something amazing at Christmas because the opportunity is so big. Think about the things I even talked about earlier and where it sends people’s hearts and minds. It’s the one time of the year when, when the name of Jesus Christ is spoken more than any other time of year. It’s in the word Christmas, the mass of Christ. People acknowledge His birth in history or they question it, but it’s being talked about. His name is all over the planet. More people are asking, more people are curious, maybe more people are arguing over it, yes, but it’s in conversation. This is a beautiful time to invite people to church, to take those workplace conversations where maybe you’ve mentioned you’re a Christian before, and invite people to something because the conversation is already happening. How will we answer, and we’re going to talk about this a little more later, but how will we tell the story, the timeless story, in a way that engages in a new way?

Laurie Graham 15:07
The consumerism of the holidays, I’m here in the US, I don’t know what it’s like all over the entire planet because certainly there are places that have different cultures than, than we do, but consumerism over the holidays is pretty high in most places. And I just want to say, this focus on needs, on physical things, on desires, on wants, on dreams, physical needs, financial needs, it also brings up emotional needs. It brings up disappointment, it brings up greed. Different emotions are flying around with consumerism, that we have an opportunity to speak into, not against, please hear me. I, again, I am against the war on Christmas, I am against us being angry, judgmental, bitter, know it alls. I’m against that, but I am for speaking into the needs that are coming up in a beautiful, generous way, kind way, loving way, an other way. The other thing about Christmas that makes it such a unique time, unique opportunity, is the focus on family because this beautiful focus on this nuclear family that gathers around the Christmas tree and has their, you know, their presents to open and the love and the hugs and the family gatherings with extendeds and all of that.

The reality is, in all of our lives, there are broken relationships. There is regret. There is loss. There is need for reconciliation. There’s estrangement, there’s loneliness at the same time. So the focus on the family, this beautiful, idyllic time of, of awesome relationships, family and friends gathering also brings up the spaces where we have needs and sadness, and this is Christmas. Do you see it? The things that many Christians get very angry about, it all leads to deeper awareness of our own needs, like our self awareness, for nonChristians and Christians alike. If you don’t have money to buy all the presents you want, or to give to your children or your friends the way that you would desire, it brings up those needs, those desires. If you do have all the money you want to buy all the presents you have, people are left still feeling empty and wondering if there must be something more to this life. So much opportunity.

Laurie Graham 17:43
Okay, so what can we do to have an incredible impact this year, without doing too many things that stress out your volunteers, your church family, but also without doing nothing, without letting this amazing holiday go by, with very little fanfare? So let me talk about three things, without over-programming, that you can do to make an incredible impact this year in your small church. In fact, if you think about the programming that sometimes happens in the church, when it’s too much, it honestly becomes more noise sometimes, even if they are good things, because it’s adding stress, because it’s adding to a busy time of year. So let’s not over-program, but also let’s not under-program. These three things make a big deal about Christmas.

The first one I just want to mention is a fresh story, fresh excitement to the timeless story. How are we telling the story of Jesus coming to the planet, being born in a manger? Now, when we talk about the story, how many times have you heard this story? I just want to say that when Jesus told stories on the planet, He wasn’t boring. He was not predictable. Jesus was intriguing. He left people wondering often. So how did the Christmas story gets so boring? And if you’re here thinking I don’t think it’s boring, I think it’s amazing, usually that’s because of what it’s done in your life and in your hearts. But the Christmas story does get boring in many, many places. I’m not saying the meaning of it but the telling of it. So can we tell it in new ways? Can we tell it with a new perspective? If the Christmas story is changing you, not if it changed you when you first heard it, but if it is currently changing, changing you now, it will show. It will show in your tone of voice. It will show in your excitement. It will show in the way that you are embracing the Christmas story now.

Laurie Graham 20:06
What is it about the Christmas story that is life changing for you now? Not just when you heard it 20 years ago, or 5 years ago or 40 years ago. How can a story that’s been told for centuries not be boring? And then I want to say, how could it possibly be boring? Because it’s a living, active Word of God, but we need to be changed by the very gospel we are sharing, and I mean changed now. So many times when we come to know the Jesus story, it changes us 20 years ago, 40 years ago, 5 years ago, but is it currently changing you? So ask God to enliven the story to you, to engage your senses, all of them, so that you can help engage the senses of others. Because if you think about it, you know, in any car accident, they talk about this, there’s so many studies that have done about this, a car accident is never told the same by all the people involved. In fact, there is a different perspective of a car accident from every single person who was present, even down to what color they think the cars were, that got in this automobile accident. What came from what side?

Do you know how many perspectives there are about the story of Jesus being born? Not just from the shepherds, or from, you know, Mary, but also from every different angle, from the silence that existed before the birth of Jesus, when people were longing for a Savior. From the people on the planet then, who did not even believe that this was the Messiah. Salvation, fear, light in the darkness, the waiting of Advent. And by the way, when I talk about changing up the story and adding fresh excitement, this isn’t about doing more messages or more events or planning more on the calendar. It’s about bringing the story of Christmas to life in a new way.

Laurie Graham 22:20
Now, if you don’t feel like you’re a creative, or you’re sitting here thinking, oh my gosh, I don’t even know what she’s talking about, please, come to a Small Church Christmas Conference on September 23rd! We have several people talking about this topic specifically, Waynell Henson, That Sunday School Girl and Tyler Bates from Amazing Kids. They’re actually giving you ways, but it can be woven, this story. The new way of telling the story can be woven throughout your church, not just in sermons, and sometimes it comes with developing a theme, a perspective, a way that we are going to even have the decor and the concepts wrapped around this way of looking at the Jesus story. So telling the story with fresh excitement as it is changing you right now, this season, already makes it more engaging. It already draws people in.

Alright, the second thing you can do this Christmas to make a big deal about Christmas is showing your community that you care. Your community, people outside the church, are so receptive at Christmas time. In fact, they’re so receptive that many people will join you in your efforts to show the community you care, people from outside your church, not only you sharing with them, but people from outside your church joining your effort to serve whatever you’re serving in the community. Whether it is the homeless population, whether it is the people who work at, you know, the police station and the fire station, or your educators, or your nurses, whether you are reaching out to the community to offer care for people suffering with loneliness or depression, whether you’re reaching out in the community to, you know, just speak into the children who have needs or people in broken families. So many different ways you can show your community you care.

Laurie Graham 24:24
Now, this does not need to add a whole bunch of things to your calendar and it also should not be this one time thing that exhausts your church family. I think Christmas is the perfect time to springboard a ministry that could be ongoing because we are ready for it at Christmas. We are so aware of needs at Christmas and not just us, but everyone else. Now, I also want to throw this in here, do not exhaust your church family with this by having many things happening at the same time. Families are already stretched, often, financially during this time. People are stretched trying to give to their family and friends, in addition to giving to this effort, in addition to giving here, in addition to showing up here and there, and this is why thinking ahead of time as a church, an integrated body, so that, you know, one ministry team isn’t doing this and another ministry isn’t doing this, but doing something to show your community you care, to building your reputation as a church that is not ingrown, but is involved in their community. So many options and ideas, but at Christmas time, they are magnified.

So tell the story in a fresh way, show your community you care somehow, and the third thing I want to mention at Christmas time that should not be optional in our churches, is to step up and be the family to our church family. We inadvertently and unintentionally, often alienate the very people Jesus would be drawn to even in our own church families. We’re not thinking. We’re not being quiet enough to consider what the people in our own churches are going through. There are so many people who we are friends with, who have hurt in relationships. We say things like, enjoy being with your family over Christmas, and the people who do not enjoy being with their family are sitting there disconnected, feeling alienated. Do you know that many people actually avoid going to church, like we talked about people coming to church at Christmas time, you know, like, it’s a great time when people visit church, and that is true, but do you know there are many people who avoid church at Christmas time because they do not feel included in the messages, in the events, in what is going on. And it doesn’t mean they’re not invited. Please hear that. It doesn’t mean we’re not trying it means we’re not thinking.

Laurie Graham 27:14
When we acknowledge happy families and presents, to be able to acknowledge people who don’t have that, to acknowledge broken relationships and struggles, and for us, as a church to be so aware that we don’t have to ask people to sign up for the Thanksgiving turkey or the Christmas meal because we already know. Pay attention. Pay attention to the people in your church family coming in looking sad, coming late, or maybe being absent, but we really need to not miss the people in our church families. And if you think you don’t have those people in your church families, that is not true. You do. Honestly, it’s, it might be you. You are included in this. We need to acknowledge our own loss, our own struggles, and honestly, in doing so, we build a safer community. We build a community where conversations like these are welcome. If you’re leading your small group and it’s Christmas time, we don’t just need to have those shiny, happy discussion questions. We can say, hey, what’s your biggest struggle at Christmas? What is one of the things that is difficult for you at Christmas time? Is there a relationship in your life that we could be praying for?

In all these ways, when we don’t ignore the tough stuff, we are stepping up as a church family to be with people, maybe they’re not famililess, but there’s hurts, and that goes for all of us. If you haven’t heard about the Blue Christmas Service, I did a podcast episode on it last year, but I’m gonna do another one this year about Blue Christmas, on how it can be easy and simple and not add stress to your holiday, how to scale it back in a way that it gives space for people who are hurting to celebrate the holidays, hurting in many, many ways, but anyway, we’ll get to that one in another episode. But let’s not dread the Christmas season because it’s too much in our churches. It does not have to be. And let’s also not miss the opportunity to make a big deal out of Christmas this year. We’re going to talk more, as I mentioned at the Christmas Conference, about how to tell that story in a fresh, new way that is engaging for all ages in a new way, and all stages of our, of our journey with Christ. Whether you’ve been following Christ for 40 years, or you just are getting to know Him now, we can make that story fresh in new ways.

Laurie Graham 29:55
The second opportunity not to miss is to care for people in your community outside your church walls. And yes, this can happen in a way that does not burn everyone out. It’s not one or the other, but with intention, you can make a big deal out of it without burning everyone out. And the third thing just to keep in mind this Christmas is being the church family, not just to your nuclear family, but the family, the Church, the one that you are in right now, how can we be that family? And again, if you’re wondering how to do both of these things, make a big deal to Christmas, and not burn people out, we’re gonna keep talking about it. That’s why we’re talking early. You may wonder, oh my goodness, it’s early September, why are we talking about Christmas now? Because this is how we don’t burn out. We plan. We think of intention, instead of just what did we do last year, let’s do it again. Let’s be intentional.

Next week on the podcast, I’m going to talk about specific ways to avoid ministry burnout during the holidays, okay? So if you’re on that end, and you’re like, wait a minute, I’m still hearing you say do these things, I am saying to do these things, but I’m going to talk about specific ways to avoid ministry burnout during the holidays. Again, if you’re looking for practical ideas to do these specific things, a fresh story, caring for people in your community, being a family, definitely save September 23, 2023 and plan to hang out with us at A Small Church Christmas. This free event happens on Saturday, September 23rd this year from 11:00 – 7:00 Eastern time. It is an online, free conference. It’s our 13th one. They are amazing. But here’s the thing, the world is more receptive at Christmas. It is aware of Christ, and the world is watching us. More people struggle with depression and loneliness over the holidays because the very light that is shining on these beautiful families and sparkling gifts, that light also brings up those dark sides that are the opposite. More people are curious about Christ at the holidays. More people are receptive to invitations for church, so let’s not miss it. Let’s not miss the amazing opportunity to share Christ and also share His love with the people who don’t even know Him and with the people who do.

Laurie Graham 32:44
Make sure to tune in next week when I follow up with specific ways to prevent ministry burnout over the holidays, because burnout is a big deal, but it does not have to be. And if you’re listening when this episode goes live, you can get on the waitlist for the Christmas conference, A Small Church Christmas happening September 23rd. Just go to smallchurchsummits.com and you’ll be the first to know when registration goes live. All right. So we’re delving into Christmas early this year, but it’s so important, and we don’t want to miss the opportunity that is sitting right in front of us. So let’s make a big deal of Christmas, but in a way that’s healthy, that doesn’t burn us out, but that makes a huge impact on the people around us. All right. We’ll talk to you next week. Be a light!