213: The Church Women Who Shape Our Faith (Without Ever Holding a Title) | with Traci Mason

213: The Church Women Who Shape Our Faith (Without Ever Holding a Title) | with Traci Mason

Laurie Graham 0:01
Hey, welcome to the Small Church Ministry podcast, where we help volunteers and ministry leaders experience less stress, more joy, and greater impact as we share strategies that actually do work in smaller churches. I’m your host, Laurie Graham. Let’s dive in!

Laurie Graham 0:22
Hey, hey, welcome back to the Small Church Ministry Podcast. I’m excited today to introduce you to a friend. For those of you who have never met, Traci Mason, she’s going to be speaking at the Women’s Ministry Conference at the end of the month. So if you have not grabbed your free ticket to that event yet, you want to go do that like please go do that. It’s free online. It’s the last Saturday of January, and it’s typically one of our biggest events of the year. So don’t be one of the people who say, Oh my gosh, I wish I’d known you know now. You know now. So go grab a ticket, and if you are not involved with the women at your church, please pass this along to somebody who is, because it’s just, it’s a life-changing event we don’t want you to miss.

But let’s get into today’s podcast. Before I bring Traci on, I just want to highlight that so much of what shapes our faith doesn’t happen in programs or events or even official roles. It happens through people who show up, people who notice, people who listen, people who stay longer to hear the stories. It’s often, oftentimes like people who haven’t had a title, not the person on the stage, not the pastor in the pulpit, and yet, somehow, there’s a huge impact that happens. And so a lot of times when we talk about Small Church Ministry, the first thing that pops to mind is a program or an event or something that fills the calendar.

And the conversation we’re going to have today with Traci is very different. We’re going to be talking specifically about Women’s Ministry, but if you’re in Kids Ministry and Men’s Ministry like just translate this. This isn’t just about the women in the church, but we are going to be specifically talking about Women’s Ministry that happened outside of the structure of a Women’s Ministry or a calendar or a strategy or a vision statement, because in small churches, especially in small churches, a lot of times, there’s a pressure to organize a ministry to kids, or to women, or to men, or to older people, or to couples, or to young adults. And we get this in our mind, but in the process of that, sometimes we miss the people sitting right next to us, or the ones who are grabbing coffee in the hallway. And so Traci and I are going to share some personal stories, real women, real moments, talking about something that we don’t talk about enough. And that’s the ministry that happens, that isn’t always formal that doesn’t require a platform. And so this isn’t necessarily a ‘how-to’ episode, but it’s going to be a big invitation, and we’re excited to talk about it.

So Traci, before we get started, do you want to introduce yourself to people? I know a bunch of people here have heard you before. You’ve spoken at our conferences. You’ve been on prayer teams so much, and then those there’s people who are listening who’ve never met you. So what is important to you today to let listeners hear?

Traci Mason 3:11
Hello, everyone. I am just so super excited to be here today. I absolutely love this topic, and I’m just a woman in the south suburbs of Chicago who happens to be married to a pastor, but my heart is to serve and to encourage women. Just ever since I was little girl, my heart has just been to encourage and so that’s who I am. I have led a ministry of encouragement. I currently lead a women ministry of encouragement for pastors wives, called Lady First Ministry of Encouragement. But it’s all about encouraging women. It’s so important so many, including us, Laurie.

Laurie Graham 4:00
Yes, and you and I met a few years ago, and you’ve become really good friends with some people that you’ve met through Small Church Ministry. But do you remember how we first connected? Because I don’t. I don’t remember how we first connected.

Traci Mason 4:12
I do. I attended, I don’t know if it was your first conference for pastors’ wives. I attended the conference. Then came a part of the Facebook group, and somehow, I don’t know how you saw one of my YouTube programs. I was doing a YouTube program, and you reached out to me, and you was like, Hey, I love you on YouTube, and I would love for you to speak at the conference. I still don’t know how, how you saw it, I don’t know, and that’s how, and I just, I was honored. But I just love, I love your heart, Laurie, and I love the ministry, and a lot of ways we’re like, I don’t know whether or not, yeah.

Laurie Graham 4:53
And the community, the community that we have, is just so amazing. So that’s really fun that you found us through a conference. So I didn’t even know that originally, so awesome. Okay, so let’s jump into our topic for today and talk about women who shaped our faith, like personally, but Traci, when you think back of your own faith story, who is a woman or a few women who come to mind first, not because they led something formal, right, but just because they showed up in your life, right?

Traci Mason 5:22
That question is so easy for me, thinking way back to when I was a little girl at church, there was a woman by the name of Lou Tuggle who just saw me, took me under her wing, from a little girl all the way through my teen years and even into my adulthood, she just took me under her wing. She was there all the time, and currently a couple of people that came to mind, as a woman at our church, she killed me if I mentioned her name, but she’s always there to encourage me. And then another one is a stranger I met once came to our church. I don’t know her name, but she impacted me in a great way.

Laurie Graham 6:08
And how did they shape you? So how did they impact you? Like, what was it?

Traci Mason 6:12
Each of them? I think the common thing was each of them, they saw me and they made me feel seen. So Lou Tuggle, when I was a little girl, she would just always pick me up, driving me around. She was formerly Girl Scout leader, formerly Sunday school teacher, but she was so much more than that, and she basically let me know she believed in me. She saw something in me often that I didn’t even know I could do. She introduced me to Child Evangelism. She was like, Hey, you would be great in this. So I became a Child Evangelist over summers. I became a camp counselor at Christian camp, and then other forms of teaching. She was the one who I used to bake all the time and give people cookies and cakes and things. She was the one who told me, you can make this a business. You can actually sell cakes and cookies. So she just always believed in me. But most of all, she taught me a lot about the Lord outside of the church, just during our our conversations and riding around in the car with her, being in her home, by her example of prayer, she taught me how to have a relationship with the Lord.

Laurie Graham 7:29
Okay, so I just have to ask, when I think of the women who made the biggest difference in my life through church, it was not the Bible study leaders, or at least it wasn’t the one leading the bible study at the time. It was not the event. It wasn’t even the Women’s Ministry leader. It was literally that person who came up like alongside me. I mean, I remember even Nancy Day, who was in a church that I was in Toledo, Ohio for a long time. I served in the church for about 10 years as a Youth Director, and she would just, she would have parties at her house, like, not just potlucks, but she kind of catered things, but she actually even taught me, like, just being there with her, how to entertain in a way where you were present with people and not, like just running around like a crazy person. And she was so faithful, like her Bible would be out almost on, you know, one of those stands, like on a table, where her Bible, because that’s where she had her quiet time. And you would see it, like there were visible things. But she also, when I knew her, it wasn’t because she was in a role, like it was her life, and she invited me into it.

So here’s my question for you, Traci, why are we so focused on building Formal Women’s Ministries? And by the way, I’m not bashing Formal Women’s Ministries, because obviously we’re doing like a Women’s Ministry Conference coming up. But when you and I, and also my friends, when I asked them, Who influenced you, the life-changing events are not the programs like it’s not the life-changers. Now, sometimes relationships happen through that. But why do you think it takes our focus, like when we think about having an impact in reaching women? Why does our focus go to what events, what programs? How do we formalize this, versus who is sitting in our church unseen. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Traci Mason 9:23
Yeah, I think first of all, a lot of people misunderstand the word ‘ministry’. When we say ministry, they automatically think of church. When I was serving women, you know, a lot of times people would ask me, Well, what do you do? I was like, Well, I serve Women’s Ministry. The first thing they would say is, what church? No church. I, you know, I serve women. So we misunderstand the term of ministry, which ministry is simply serving God and His people in love. And then there’s that expectation that’s there’s that pressure, a lot of tradition of we have to have a specific thing set aside for women. And then in so many, you know, there’s so many churches where women are not allowed to speak or teach. You know, their role is to the women, but they could, kind of, like, take that in a different way, meaning, I have to form a ministry, rather than just reaching out to the women who are right there and showing love to them?

Laurie Graham 10:23
Yeah, I’m getting close to writing a blog post on the influence people have in the pews or in the seats, if your church doesn’t have pews, because I honestly think so many people who don’t have formal roles are impacting our churches greater in so many ways, because nobody thinks you have a job, like, are you talking to me? Because it’s your job. You’re the usher and you’re the greeter and you have a name tag, but it’s the person who, it’s not when they say hi, when they reach out that it’s so beautiful. So how do you feel? Because I’ve said this before, and probably to you, you’ve probably heard me, because you’ve been involved in so many of our conferences. There’s a difference between Women’s Ministry and ministry to women, that you don’t have to have a Formal Women’s Ministry to have incredible ministry to women. What does that look like in churches when you hear me say that?

Traci Mason 11:17
Um, can you say that again?

Laurie Graham 11:18
Yeah, a lot of times, people for the conferences, they’ll come and say, well, we don’t have a Women’s Ministry. We don’t have a Women’s Ministry. We’re not big enough to have a Women’s Ministry. And I’m like, no matter what, you do have a ministry to women. It might be intentional, it might not be, but that ministry to women happens whether or not there’s a formal women’s ministry. Like, how have you how have you seen that?

Traci Mason 11:41
Yeah, I see it as I see us all Christian women. I see us all as ministers. So if we have a heart to love, if we have eyes to see other women, if we have hands that will serve, if we have ears that will listen, then we are in the ministry, whether or not it’s a specific program. A lot of times when we have, like, say we’re not bashing programs, love programs, do programs, conferences, but a lot of times when that’s the focus, it’s the person, it’s the leader controlling it, rather than God and their heart controlling it and focusing on the agenda. A lot of times, the women’s hearts are missed, and the leaders might be satisfied, like, Yeah, I did. This is great. Well, the ladies, if they happen to show up, a lot of times, it’s the ones who don’t show up that are needing our ministry. But the leaders might be satisfied or frustrated, but sometimes the ladies not have a good time, but where their needs really, really met.

Laurie Graham 12:43
Yeah, yeah. Oh, that’s so good. So do you have a specific story, like, just something that’s happened in your life in the last year, you know, maybe in the church setting, where there was, like, this ministry moment that you can share that was outside of a functioning, organized ministry.

Traci Mason 13:05
That depends. If you mean, was it, if it’s me? I mean, there’s been times either or few times, okay, when I definitely as a ministry leader, but times that I have been ministered to, yeah, outside the box say, My husband is a pastor, and he’s had some serious health challenges over the years. But there’s this, this one lady in our church who just sees me. She lets me know she will, you know, put that hand on my shoulder, or tell me she loves me, or sometimes she’ll slip something in my hand. But when he was really, really sick, not only did she see me and encouraged me, she helped me. Such contact reached out to me and said, you know, give me your grocery list, or what do you need from the store. And she just did the tangible things, like ordering things and having them delivered to our home. She was just there.

And there was another, this visitor I told you about women I had never met before at one of our services, came to visit during a special event and after the service, again, someone saw me. She came up to me, asked me my name, and she asked me, could she pray for me? And I almost, no, I didn’t almost I did just kind of like fell into her arms. Because that does not happen often, you know, people pray for me. So I consider those ministry moments. Yeah, I think we could do the same thing, you know, to other people, just just see them and be there.

Laurie Graham 14:46
Yeah, you’ve said a couple times, they saw me. They saw me. Do you think that is common in our churches, that we stop and see people and why or why not? Because I think it’s uncommon, I think most of us just walk around unintentionally. We’re not really seeing people. But can you talk a little bit about what that means to you? Because you’ve used that phrase a lot. So what does that mean? Because obviously we see people with our eyes. What does that mean? And if you agree with me that it’s uncommon, because I think it is. Why is that? Why is this so uncommon?

Traci Mason 15:18
Yes, I think it’s extremely uncommon. And I think people are busy for one thing, but then in the church settings, we put on a lot of times that we’ll put on the face, you know, that everything is okay. But then other times, I think there’s also the fear of reaching out to people, offering help, just showing love. And then I also think a lot of times people, unfortunately, don’t know how you know, are just not observant or knowing the next step of what to do, or, I think, mainly busy. Unfortunately, a lot of people are focused on themselves, not selfish, but just so focused on their agendas at church, okay, church is over, got to go home. Church is here. Got to do this. You know, it’s just in and out. And a lot of times people are missed. Their hearts are missed, you know, their needs are missed.

Laurie Graham 16:20
Yeah, you know, I’m trying to think of what helps us see people, like, how can we practically become the person that sees people? For me, a lot of times when I’m going into church, you know, whether I have a role or not, at this phase in my life, I actually pray. I’m like, Okay, God, help me see somebody who’s not being attended to, or help me see the person that everybody misses. And even just a prayer like that, like just putting it in our own recognition, like you’re going to start seeing people right and left, who nobody’s talking to. And then I think we also have a little bit of a fear, like, oh, maybe they want to be alone, or maybe they don’t want to be there and that’s true sometimes too.

But man, we can ask questions, we can approach in a way that’s beautiful and permissive, that isn’t like being all black in their face, right? I’m very surprised when I’ve gone up to people who seem a little more solo, like I think, oh, they probably want to be left alone. And when I go up and talk to them, they’re actually really grateful. I remember once somebody had said, when people come to your church alone, like to offer to sit with them. And I thought that’s so overstepping, like a stranger. But I remember the first time I did it, there was kind of a woman in her 20s. She came alone, she seemed very independent, and I introduced myself, you know, out in the hallway, and I said, Hey, do you want to sit with me? And she just went, I would love to, and I couldn’t believe it, because I really thought that was overstepping, and it wasn’t Yes. Anything helped you be able to approach people more when they look like maybe they could use a friend.

Traci Mason 17:55
Yeah, I love why you see it. One of the things I do is pray ahead of time. But I also always try to have some type of note with me, a card or a little postcard or something. A lot of times I’ll on the spot, you know, if I see someone, I might write a little note and give it to them.

Laurie Graham 18:16
Like in person right there. Yeah, really.

Traci Mason 18:20
Like if at church or in my purse, like even on my purse, like strangers, cashier. But at church, I do try to always keep notes with me and people that handwritten note doesn’t have to say much, you know, it just might say, Hey, God bless you. Or, you know, something like just wondering how you’re doing and slipping them that note is sometimes a little less if it I don’t want to say intimidating.

Laurie Graham 18:53
It’s sweet. I think it’s very sweet. I would love that if someone, and sometimes people are busy at church talking too, and you can’t, sometimes you don’t want to take, you know, take their time in that way. That’s a really cute idea. You kind of said under your breath, a cashier. So you’ve handed a cashier a note before when you were, like, out shopping or something.

Traci Mason 19:11
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, waitresses, waiters, yeah.

Laurie Graham 19:16
Oh my gosh. And so what kind of note would you write to a cashier, like, at the grocery store or something.

Traci Mason 19:21
I would put like, I could put something like, thanks for helping me out. You did a great job. Hope your day is great. Like, sometimes, you know, talking to cashier quick, you say, Hey, how you doing? To the guy you know, not too good, you know. Say, I hope your day is you know, hope your day gets better, I’ll put on there. Sometimes I’m praying, you know, praying for you, someone is praying for you. And then also just the personal touches, you know, even in the busyness of church, that hand on the shoulder, that just sitting with someone sitting there beside them for a moment, you know, A hug, that smile, you know, just letting them, you know, letting them know they’re noticed and they’re valued.

Laurie Graham 20:07
Yeah, you know, for everybody listening right now, if you think about the last time like, like someone did something tender or sweet, or sat by you or smile at you, or encouraged you, or gave you a note, like, how do we become those people ourselves and Traci, you mentioned earlier that we’re so busy at church, like we’re often very busy at church, you know, the people listening to the podcast right now, because we’ve all been with them at conferences and in our community. Like most of us, function pretty fast, pretty heavy.

We carry a lot on our plate. It’s a typical small church, you know, whoa, that we’re spinning all these plates and nobody else is helping, and we have to do all these things, and we’re, you know, and I think we’re limiting our ministry by being so busy. But what would you say? What do we have to do to become the person who walks into church and sees other people who literally is slow enough to have our eyes light up when somebody walks in the room to notice those people. You know, you’ve been around Women’s Ministry long enough. What’s the shift? Because I do think it’s a shift. I think it’s a big shift to go from the one who’s carrying everything, who’s so busy, to becoming the person who sees other people, and I believe makes a greater impact.

Traci Mason 21:19
I believe so too. Yeah.

Laurie Graham 21:20
I really do. So what’s the shift?

Traci Mason 21:22
I think we, first of all have to be intentional. It’s just not going to happen over day, like even planning ahead of time, you know, I’m going to, you know, look for one person, or even in our conversations, you know, letting people know that we are available, especially being the wife of a pastor, that is that stigma, Oh, can’t touch her. You know, a lot of times, can’t bother letting people know. You know, I am there. I am here for you, being intentional and obedient and then being willing. I think remembering that God has called us all to be servants.

So being willing to be that servant, being obedient to that, and being willing to put our own agendas, aside our own plans, aside our own ideas, aside and to be that, perhaps that one person that someone else’s needs it might take, I think it can create a ripple effect, like if we are leading a team of women in Women’s Ministry, sharing this with them, you know, and letting them know. Yeah, look, our events are great, you know, this is great. This is great. But we want to be women who reach hearts and even asking them, how can we do that? Or even Laurie, like this conversation we’re having now, asking them, What has someone done in your life that made a difference? Let’s be that difference to the women in our church or in our in our community, or the women in our lives.

Laurie Graham 22:59
Yeah, yeah. You know you talked about like being a person who’s willing to serve and willing to be obedient. So I really do think for many, many people in small churches, serving in obedience, is running the programs, and I have to do all this. Because there is a thing that says I have to do all this. Nobody else will do it, so I don’t have time to talk to that person. And I think we get this backwards.

And Traci, you’ve had some major shifts in your life because you’ve talked about them before. You’ve taken sabbaticals. You’ve pulled back on things, you know, how do we let go of all the plates that we think we have to keep spinning? Because we cannot do it all like, you cannot be running all the events the way you’ve been doing it. If you have no time for people and make time for people, it’s not a time management thing, squeezing in more things. How do we let go of things like, what’s been your experience with that?

Traci Mason 23:53
I think we have to look at the example of Jesus Christ. He was with people. He was the Son of God. He is the Son of God. But while on earth, He wasn’t always preaching, you know, to the crowds, He had those times where He would pull away and He would notice people. He would heal one woman in a crowd, you know, He would speak to one woman. So look at that example. And that has helped me also with, I could say I’ve never been one who was stuck on roles or duties, but it has helped me a lot to know that even the times when I might think I’m not really doing ministry or I can’t, I look at Jesus, the ultimate Minister of All Times, and He prioritized people, yeah. And if the Son of God can prioritize people, you know, so can we, and I think that helps women in ministry. If we can. It’s really hard to tell a woman in ministry, you know that, but if we point them to Jesus. And even give them Scripture and let them see how Jesus served and how Jesus ministered, then it would be easier, you know, for them, that lightbulb might come on a little bit quicker, a little bit better, if we point them to Jesus and they see how Jesus served and how he ministered. You know, he wasn’t spinning plates and doing it all.

Laurie Graham 25:22
He never rushed. And by the way, if your church so you’re listening now, and your church has a Women’s Ministry that has events and has all this, and you like it and and that floats your boat, that’s awesome. But let’s use our events to meet people and see people, because there’s a way to run events that nobody ever gets to know anybody like, and there’s a way to run events and have programs that makes a lot of time for seeing people and Traci, you even mentioned like role-modeling and asking people, you know what, when has a woman made a difference in your life? What was it that they did? Because almost always it’s a listening, it’s a seeing, it’s a serving. Something that’s really touched my heart.

Over the last year, I was really struggling with an anxious dog, and it was, it was hard, like I was getting close to having to make some really hard decisions. It sounds silly, but you know, if you have a pet, you know it was like, he was just anxious all the time. And this, this woman at church and her husband sat me down because they had heard me sharing like it was so difficult, like it was causing so much stress and anxiety for me. And they’re like, you know, Laurie, do you need help with your dog? Because we could watch him. We’d love to meet your dog. And I’m like, What is this? How is this happening at church? Like, you know, it was so but like, what you said earlier, like, you know, when people see what you’re going through, not just saying, hey, you know, let’s pray about it. But how do you run events? I’ve seen you’ve done some events with Robin Jones and things like that. And so how when you run an event, how do you make sure it’s person-focused, like, how do you make sure we’re seeing people, are there some tips you can give for that, for those who do a lot of programs and events, how can we make sure they facilitate relationships more?

Traci Mason 27:04
One thing I do, just for the women to be seen, and I do personally, write a note to each woman, even if it’s an event with 200 women as they register of writing that note so that when they get there, they have a personalized note. Yeah. And then, you know, just dividing, you know, breaking up into smaller groups sometimes, but even with a bigger group. I don’t want to say icebreakers, but I would say starting getting them in the beginning, like the very beginning of the event, reaching the heart in the beginnings. And that you know that their duties, their agenda, the busyness in their minds, begin to go down, and they begin to excuse me, begin to warm up, and then just being real and honest with our own lives, helps them feel that they can be real and honest with their lives, like if I can start off or at some point during the event, sharing, real stuff.

Sharing, I’ve been through trauma. Sharing, I’ve been depressed sometimes. Sharing the hard things, you know, then that lets them know, oh, I’m okay, you know, yeah, I’m normal, you know? And that it helps them be able to, first of all, identify areas in their lives and feel more warm and at home, and more able to share with their sales and others, and even if they’re not really sharing with others, they’re able to understand within their heart, I’m okay, and God help me with this situation, and I’m not alone.

Laurie Graham 28:55
Yeah, yeah. You know one of the reasons I wanted to have this conversation with you, Traci, because I know your heart for this, and I know, like you and I kind of share this a little bit, that it is so much more about people than programs. But there are a lot of people in small churches who don’t have a role, and I think sometimes we undervalue ourselves. There’s women listening right now who aren’t leading, they’re not organizing, and they don’t have a title, and oftentimes we feel like we’re not doing real ministry without a title. And it’s so not true. I think oftentimes, and I really, really believe this, the deepest ministry happens when we’re not looking we’re not planning for it, and we’re not the ones with the titles and I so agree with you this.

This is what Jesus did, like this is the biggest impact was, was just looking at someone and being there with them, through through the good, through the bad, through the conversations, through the tiny little moment. It’s being seen. What do you think could shift in a church, if we all like, if we all stopped measuring ministry by attendance or events or schedules or calendars? What would shift in a church like, what do you think would happen?

Traci Mason 30:16
Yeah, I think what would shift would be that I’m going to use my word again, seen. Women will feel seen. Women who have felt invisible will feel seen. Women who are broken will begin to heal. Women who are lonely will begin to connect. Women who have been hopeless will have new hope will gain hope, and then those who are deemed or who have been deemed unlovable will feel loved. And most of all, women who have felt who are lost will find Christ. And I know a lot of times the focus is on title, and I think we all have a title, and that title is sister, that title is sister, that title is servant, that title is friend, that title is encourager. And so if we use our gifts the way that God has called us, then we all have a title.

We are that encourager, we are that prayer. We are that giver, we are that servant. We are that teacher. You know, we all have the title, and just to use that title, whether it’s a man-made, given title or not, just go forth knowing that when we take time to be there for others, we’re making an impact in their lives, and that’s what ministry is, and it will make a difference. And I think that shift of, again, it’s a hard shift, a hard shift a lot of times for people, but when we see how Jesus served, you know, and be willing, even a lot of times when I’m hosting events, and especially with my pastors’ wives, I will start off, you’re the agenda. I have these plans, I have this program, I have this note. You’re first. Yeah, you’re better than the agenda. So if something is needed, if prayer is needed, advice is needed, or you need to say something, that’s the agenda. So if our Women’s events and ministries could make women feel that I’m more important than the agenda, I matter and these women care about me, that would make such an impact in their lives, and that for the leaders to be okay with that.

Laurie Graham 32:43
Yeah, you know, as you were listing like, we would see the people who are broken and those who are struggling and those who are, I also thought of the leaders and the pastors’ wives, because most people on the planet, this is just generally, most people are lonely. They don’t feel like they have great connections. You can be the leader, you can be the pastor’s wife, you can be the one with the title, and still feel like you’re unseen oftentimes, especially in smaller churches. You may be listening right now, and you’re the Women’s leader, and you’re like, wait, wait, Mimi, I feel unseen. And I think that is valid, like, I don’t think it’s just us seeing everyone else. And Traci, you mentioned somebody in your church who sees you. Well, you’re the leader. And so often we look at the leader and we think, Well, they’ve got it together. They’re in the in group, and I’m outside the group.

And I’m just saying this is one of those things that so many of us women have in common. Across the board, like most, most women don’t have a close friend nearby. Most women don’t. Most women do feel alone. Most women feel different in a crowd. And like, if we can all start kind of opening that up and saying, Hey, we are all the same. We’re all the same here. Like, let’s learn how to see each other. Let’s learn how to be a community. I think that is such a makes such a difference. In ministry to women in a church is when we get rid of the levels and we just say, Hey, we’re, we’re all here together, you know, yeah.

Traci Mason 34:11
And it, you know, it won’t help. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen once that trust is built. God will roll, and He would do anything. And a lot of times, I think, at the start of ministries, or when we’re starting a ministry, or at the beginning of a specific ministry, especially with the smaller groups asking the ladies, you know, what, what makes you, what would make you comfortable, what would make you feel safe enough, you know, to share things, or, you know, share your heart and allow the ladies to share that they would say, Maybe I need what I say to stay here. Don’t tell anybody. So we write down confidentiality. You know, whatever they share I need. I need to be listened to without being interrupted. We write that down, and we present that before the ladies, and we remind the others, this is what we need.

This is what our ladies need. And we remind them of that each time. And then something might need to be added, but we remind them of that, and the ladies will begin to build that trust, and they will be comfortable when the leaders have to be part of that, you know, also like, yeah, confidentiality, be willing to listen without, without interrupting. And then also, you know, being willing to share our stuff, yeah, and the ladies will respond. And that community, it will be, that relationship will be built.

Laurie Graham 35:44
Yeah, yeah. Well, wherever you’re listening from, I hope you’ve enjoyed this conversation. This is a little bit of a softer side of Women’s Ministry. You know, we’re not talking strategy, we’re not talking five steps, we’re not talking how to facilitate better. But I really think this is the deeper part of of being human and seeing people and being relational and just loving people well and truly. The impact that it makes is crazy amazing, and it far surpasses the retreat, the Bible Study and the Tea Party. It really does like, this is the sticking.

This is the stuff that sticks with us as we grow, as we go through transitions, as we go through hard stuff, because we’re all on this life journey together. And if those events can facilitate the relationships, and we’ll talk more about this at the Women’s Ministry Conference, for sure, those events are great. Like we’re not saying events aren’t great, but if this is not there, the events just they don’t really hold water, like it’s not worth it.

So Traci, before we close, is there anything that you want to end with, or if you could leave a bit of encouragement to somebody who’s listening. Now, what would you say?

Traci Mason 36:59
I would just like love to remind everyone listening that even leaders who might not feel seen and women who might not feel seen, to always remember that God sees you. God always sees you. God is always with you. And then when we’re serving women, when women feel seen and are met and accepted right where they are at the time where they are, something really special happens in their hearts. And our sisters get to feel the love of Jesus through us. And nothing can compare to that and all the things I mentioned about the invisible being seen in the hopeless receiving hope and the broken, receiving, healing, all of that can happen when we say yes to giving of ourselves. And we can all do that, and it doesn’t require a title or a fancy agenda. It just requires our willingness to step up and to step out of the preconceived box of what we think formal ministry is, and then we reach out to those women’s with our hearts. And we might not be able to reach everyone, but we can reach some, and it will make a difference. And most of all, God will be pleased. We’re all ministers.

Laurie Graham 38:17
Yeah, so good, yeah, if you’re listening now and you’ve ever felt like you’re not really doing ministry because you don’t have an official role right now, or you’re not leading, and maybe you’ll never lead because you don’t want to? I hope this conversation kind of challenged that a little bit, that we’re all doing real ministry.

We all have that in us because it’s connection, it’s listening, it’s loving, it’s remembering details. It’s leaving notes, like how much that impacts people’s lives, and if you are leading a women’s ministry in a small church, hopefully this episode maybe, is inviting you to loosen your grip, if you’re holding it really tightly, loosen the grip on the calendar and maybe ask some different questions. You know, how we can be present for each other in maybe a new way, maybe a more present way, maybe a more Jesus-like, like I’m looking at you like I see you. Zacchaeus in the tree, you know I see you. Nobody else sees you, but I see you. I see you.

Because ministry isn’t always about organization. A lot of times it has more to do with paying attention and seeing people and Traci, thank you for being here with us and sharing a couple stories in your heart. What is your topic at the conference? What are you going to be talking about? Not the formal title, but what are you excited about that you’re gonna be talking about.

Traci Mason 39:26
Oh, I’m excited. I love you, Laurie, so so much for being able to go out the box. I’m going to be encouraging women who are in leadership. You know, just encouraging. You said, we all need encouragement. So my focus will be encouraging women who encourage women.

Laurie Graham 39:42
Yeah, awesome. Okay, last Saturday the month, if you don’t have your free ticket yet, go grab it. We have 24 speakers. It is a crazy packed day, and everything from encouragement for you know, burnout, caring too much, building great ministry teams, facilitating groups better. Like, we have the gamut from practical mindset, ministry skills, outreach, how to do real outreach in your community. Like, we’ve got it all.

If you want to see the lineup, just go to smallchurchsummits.com. The link is in your show notes. This is a completely free online event. It is amazing. So grab a ticket and share this please, because we always have people afterwards saying we wish we had known. We wish we’d known this event grows every year, and we have a great time. It is focused on small churches, specifically which nobody else does. So we just love it. So go grab a free ticket. We’re excited. Thanks for being with us today, and until next week, be a light.