Host A Small Church Date Night

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Thriving marriages build thriving families that build thriving communities. Marriage has been a cornerstone of human relationships from the very beginning. When God created Adam and Eve and brought them together in the first marriage, it set the example for all of us.

The enemy would like nothing more than to tear the marriages in your church apart, and couples in your church are attacked every day. Galatians 6:2 tells us to bear one another’s burdens. Together the church needs to bear the burdens of the married couples in the congregation.

Date nights are great ways to support marriages in church. Yet, merely allowing couples to connect is not always enough. They need to develop skills to help their marriage go beyond merely surviving, to thriving. A date night with a purpose can help. 

Here are some ideas for how you can host a great date night event that will have an impact long after the kids have been taken home and put to bed. This date night event can be done well for a range of budgets. Being creative for a memorable and enjoyable evening can start with the below ideas.

Try A Fun Date Night

Let’s be honest. Couples are showing up because they want to have a good time. They want a fun night out as much as they want a night of connecting with each other. Be sure to include elements of fun as part of the event. People always remember how they felt more than what they did.

Try one of the Dinner night ideas or a fun game night.

Popular Couples Date Night Ideas:

• The Newlywed Game, or variations of it.
• Trivia
• Ice-breaker games

Give Skills To Strengthen Marriages

It’s great to provide a couple a night out to connect and have fun. If, however, you can bring them together and provide them with skills to use at home to strengthen their marriage, your event will have a long-term impact.

Five Speaker Ideas For Couples Night Out

1. Conference Speaker 

Bringing in a conference speaker is both a great way to build excitement in your church and provide high-quality teaching to the couples in your church. This doesn’t mean you have to pay for a speaker to travel to your church. 

Many speakers are willing to livestream into your church. All you need is a screen and projector as well as an internet connection. This allows interaction with the speaker without having to break the bank on travel and honorarium (ask the speaker about any limitations). Take a risk and ask! You never know what response you’ll receive!

2. Prerecorded Conference Session

There are a lot of ministries out there that will have pre-recorded conference sessions for purchase. Some even have whole conferences so you could potentially do a series of date nights.

3. Local Professional

Your community is full of people with stories and advice for the couples in your church. 

Lawyers can share what they’ve learned over the years dealing with clients. They have advice on everything from what led couples to divorce, dealing with in-laws, and managing stress as a couple. 

Financial Planners are a wealth of information on how to deal with money, plan for the future, and how to communicate about money as a couple. They’ve seen it all. 

Therapists are the experts in developing relational skills. Not only would they be great speakers at a date night event, but every church should have a list of therapists they trust to refer members to when they’re struggling in their marriage.

4. Member Testimony

Your church is full of amazing stories of what God has done. Invite couples to share their stories of God’s power in their marriages. Be careful about the message of these stories. While the story of the couple that made it through a dramatic experience of adultery or addiction can be an inspiring story of the power of God, those stories can also discourage couples from seeking help early because “Our marriage isn’t that bad.” 

You want couples to feel empowered to seek help and work on their marriage not to think that it’s not bad enough to get help.

5. Pastor

Asking your pastor to speak is the easiest and most convenient. The congregation always loves to hear from their pastor but usually, the pastor is busy with 18 million other things. We recommend this as the last choice for that reason, but another option is tag-teaming with another pastor at a local church that you trust. The pastors could speak at the other church’s date night.

Date Night Speaker Topic Ideas

The topic you choose is perhaps more important than the speaker. You should choose a topic that focuses on marriage. It should be something you wouldn’t do on a Sunday morning because there you’re speaking to everyone, not just the married couples. 

Couples face issues unique to the marriage relationship, and they are looking for guidance. Still, they’re so specific that you probably won’t hit those topics very often (if ever) on Sunday morning. In our experience, the top issues couples want to hear about are:

• Sex and Intimacy
• Improving Communication
• Dealing with In-Laws
• Work/Life Balance
• Parenting
• Sex and Intimacy (Yes, we said that twice. It’s a topic a lot of couples want to hear biblical guidance on because they are inundated with messages from secular culture and they often don’t feel comfortable asking questions.)

Small Church Date Night Childcare Ideas

It probably goes without saying but childcare is a must. The thing that keeps most couples from taking time for themselves is what to do with the kids. Babysitters are expensive and can be hard to find.

As you’re planning the event, think about the experience of the children too. Listening to children complain about how bored they were can make a great night out feel like it wasn’t worth it.

• Movie
  Easy and usually fun. Up the experience by setting things up to look like a movie theater with popcorn and candy.

• Reuse VBS materials
  Many churches have stacks of old VBS curriculum filling a closet or office somewhere. Pull out a couple and create a fun night of some of the best-loved games. It will provide a fun connection point for the kids that participated in it last time and take the stress off of you to develop something new for the kids. Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament
  Check out Alternative VBS Ideas Perfect For Small Churches for ideas that could work great for one-night childcare events for your Date Nights.

• Get the Youth Group/Teens Involved
  Have the teens in your church provide some entertainment for the younger kids. Let them put on an America’s Got Talent or Lip Sync Battle-type show for the children to vote on. Encourage them to focus on being silly rather than “good.” The focus is for the kids to have fun, not to impress Simon Cowell. If your church is short on teens, find out if there is a local high school or teen organization that requires service hours. This could be a good way to have teens experience your church family while earning service hours. 

Read this for a full kid’s night out schedule, if you want to offer a kid’s night out simultaneously with your date night.

Create Lasting Impact With Effective Follow-Up 

You don’t want an event like this to be one and done. The goal is to provide a place for couples to build the skills for a thriving marriage that will last a lifetime. It takes more than one night to make that happen.

Door Prizes For All Couples

Make sure to have some sort of communication card that couples can use to communicate their concerns or desire for follow-up. We recommend doing something that will encourage everyone to turn in a card; that way, a couple will not feel awkward turning in a card (perhaps thinking they are calling themselves out as having marriage problems). A door prize at the end of the night is a good way to do this.

Next Step Options For Small Church Couples

Start A Sunday School Class For Couples

It is helpful for couples to get together to talk about their marriages with other couples and build skills together. Many couples think that they’re the only ones facing issues. Sharing with other couples who have gone through or are going through the same issues will be a source of encouragement. We find it’s best to have a curriculum for these groups to guide their conversations. 

Oftentimes couples will get together and share their struggles but not know what to do about them. A good curriculum will help guide them through what they’re facing and lead to growth at the end. If you’re part of a denomination, they probably have a lot of resources available. If not, check out your favorite Christian publisher’s website. 

Operation: Thriving Marriage can help you so you don’t settle for merely surviving in your marriage. If you truly want the best that God has for you in your marriage, applying this book can stop problems before they start, help you to resolve issues together, and can help position you to grow into the couple that God designed you to be. 

Promote Your Next Couples Event

Start planning the next event. Not all events need or should have teaching as part of the event. Plan something that will just encourage couples to have fun together. You want some to be more than merely fun, but that should not be every one of them. Get the couples attending this event involved in working the next one to build synergy and momentum.

Create A List Of Trusted Counselors

Be prepared for couples to approach asking for help. The event may bring to the surface deeper issues that couples are facing. Every church should have a list of counselors they trust as resources. Don’t expect the pastor to be able to counsel everyone. They may not have the time or in some cases the expertise or experience to deal with every issue couples experience.

Date Night At Small Churches

Whether you are navigating difficult circumstances beyond your control, managing relationships with kids and in-laws, or balancing finances, work, and schedules, prioritizing your marriage can be tricky. But it is necessary!

Support the marriages at your small church with a Date Night. Consider your church culture and choose either a Fun Date Night or a Speaker Date Night. Follow the ideas above to create an amazing date night experience for your small church congregation. Start planning and put the date on the calendar this week. 

Read More: 

Make Your Sabbath Rest A Priority

3 Steps To Establish A Care Network In Your Small Church

Better Church Announcements Plus 7 Creative Twists