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Worship & Tech Series: Part 7
As Christmas tunes and holiday decor start making their way into retail stores, more people than ever are struggling with loneliness, depression, and conflicting emotions. “Happy Holidays” and “Christmas Cheer” stand in stark contrast with the honest emotions many people experience during this season: loneliness, grief, and depression. It’s no mystery that holiday months are some of the most difficult for people who have suffered a loss; in fact, many avoid church during this time. Small churches have an incredible opportunity to step into this season where dark and light so obviously coexist. Keep reading to learn:
- How church often makes holidays worse for people
- How to welcome both happy and sad this holiday season
- How acknowledging loss doesn’t diminish, but actually heightens the Light of Christmas
- Where the Blue Christmas Service came from
- How to make a Blue Christmas Service fit your community
A Quick Note About Christmas And The Church
Whether you celebrate the Christmas holiday with Christmas trees or you stand against the holiday as a pagan tradition that got morphed and adopted by the church, I think we can all agree that it’s really great to celebrate the birth of Christ. There are so many things in Christian history that are about remembrance. Remember the days of the old, building altars of stone as significant reminders of God working in the lives of His people or the amazing events when God spoke or intervened. Our faith is based on remembering!
It often seems like Christmas stands alone during the season. We assume that, because it’s Christmas, it’s time to break out the happy songs and focus on the Light of Christ, who came to seek and save the lost. We sing Joy to the World, eat cookies, and decorate with shiny, sparkly things. This isn’t all bad, of course, but I don’t think celebrating the birth of Christ was ever supposed to be a separate thing. I
have friends who truly believe we shouldn’t make space for sadness during Christmas. They actually say that “Christmas is a time for happiness!” Saying that this is a time to shove all the sadness away and embrace the joy, is a code for denial.
God didn’t create us to shove our emotions away. In fact, you won’t find any biblical mandate to deny your or anyone else’s sadness to be joyful all the time, at least not if you take the Bible in context. God doesn’t advocate for denying one’s sadness. He gave us an incredible array of emotions, and none of them are off-limits. They make us human and draw us closer to God and each other.
2 Changes That Will Impact Your Church In A Big Way
1. Acknowledgment
Acknowledging loneliness, grief, and loss during worship or at events can make a huge impact. It takes intentional awareness to really recognize how much we alienate people and even hurt them as we head into Christmas time. Try changing your vocabulary and teaching your leaders and teachers to be sensitive to those who are hurting.
Instead of saying, “We know everyone’s excited for the holidays” try saying something like, “Please remember, in your midst, there are people who are alone during the holidays, people who have no money for presents or have no tree. There are people on the verge of divorce, or who are struggling with infertility. Keep in mind that a lot is going on at home that many don’t share.”
2. Teach The Full Story Of Christmas
The story of Christmas begins with creation, and it doesn’t end with the child in the manger. Christmas isn’t a stand-alone event in God’s story. This is one of the reasons why I love celebrating Advent leading up to Christmas. Advent isn’t just for Catholics or Liturgical churches. It’s simply acknowledging a season of waiting. It is all about the anticipation of Christ! Celebrating Advent adds so much depth and opportunity for teaching others about the context of Christ’s coming. It acknowledges the darkness that needs the light of a Savior. The Christmas story is hope for the hopeless, trust for the scared, acceptance for the unloved, and redemption for the discarded.
Check out this article for more about Advent!
Looking for something fresh and new for the holiday season?
Check out the Blue Christmas Pack & the Advent Worship Pack!
What Is A Blue Christmas Service?
A Blue Christmas Service is a quiet, contemplative service that usually happens on the evening of December 21, the winter solstice. In some churches, the Blue Christmas Service might also be called The Service of the Longest Night. The day of the winter solstice has the longest night and the shortest day of the entire year. This day is symbolic of our darker nights when we find ourselves grieving, lonely, or longing for something better. The Blue Christmas Service is all about making space during a season that is noisy with celebration, to acknowledge all of our emotions. It’s an avenue of making space for beautiful pastoral care and a compassionate community for those who are struggling.
As I mentioned earlier, not everyone is a fan of making space for sadness during the holidays, and I couldn’t disagree more. Although on the other side of heaven, we absolutely will have a day of no more tears, the reality is that life on this planet can be difficult. Because of that, the holidays, for many, are not completely happy. For those who’ve suffered a loss, the ‘happy’ holidays actually accentuate feelings of sadness. Being surrounded by happy Christmas carols and holiday parties may cause people to mask their feelings or even create some shame around having them.
Over the last few decades, scientific studies have revealed so much about emotional and physical health, which I believe is science catching up to the Bible. By not making space for emotions that we might consider negative, we are literally causing physical ills, relational disconnections, and spiritual distance. God made us human for a reason, and part of humanness is having emotions.
What Does A Blue Christmas Service Look Like?
The Blue Christmas Service often happens on December 21, but it doesn’t have to. Think of it as a more reflective, quieter evening service. For my church, it was about an hour long, followed by a nicely hosted soup supper. A Blue Christmas Service typically has elements of quiet reflection, often accompanied by scripture, responsive readings, and liturgical elements. When I talk about liturgy, I promise you, it’s all about Jesus, hope, and God’s incredible love. Liturgy is simply a defined order that leads worshipers through different reading, praying, and reflecting elements.
A Blue Christmas Service is a softer type of service with invitations to participate, but no directives. This is not something that replaces your Christmas Eve Service, it’s an addition. This is also not for everyone. It has a specific purpose and it’s for specific people.
What To Know If You’re Hosting One Yourself
When I started looking at hosting a Blue Christmas Service, our church had been through some loss. I had been through some loss. I started exploring how we could bridge this huge gap between celebrating Jesus even when we weren’t feeling joyous and full of glee. I ended up hosting my first one as a worship leader in 2017.
I have to be honest, I found a lot of bits and pieces about Blue Christmas Services that I loved, but not one that really fit us or our community. So, I took bits and pieces from it all and added a few contemporary song pieces and a few beautiful video clips that married the sadness and the hope and beauty that Jesus offers.
By the next year, when we hosted our second Blue Christmas Service, I had written an entire done-for-you service that included beautiful 5 Candles of Remembrance which worked so beautifully for us, and you can do the same thing!
Tips For Setting Up The Service
The main thing to remember is to keep it simple. Try to set up as much as you can in advance so that you don’t rush anything. This should all be intentional. The way your chairs are set up is also important because you want to create a personal, more intimate setting for people. We curved our chairs and dimmed the lights a little. We even set up dividers around the room to make the room feel smaller and more intimate.
Another important thing to do is clean it all up the day after. You don’t want people to feel obligated to help clean up, and you don’t want them to have to quickly transition from the moments you are all a part of to cleaning up trash and moving chairs. By doing it the next day, you limit distractions and relieve the stress and pressure from everyone who attends.
Why This Year?
I think we could say that every year is a good year for a Blue Christmas Service. However, if you’re reading this in 2022, it’s been a few years since 2020 rocked the world with more than just a pandemic. We’ve had a war going on in Ukraine, we’ve had senseless shootings, and massive amounts of discrimination that are still going on.
It’s not like any years before or after were pain-free either. There is always a lot of fear and uncertainty. If we look back through human history, or even into the future, there always will be. Realistically, any year is a beautiful year to offer a little bit of space and reflection, a place to acknowledge some of the difficult stuff while keeping our eyes on hope.
Read More:
Stations Of The Manger: Advent Prayer Stations – Small Church Ministry
A Blue Christmas Service Makes Space For Healing & Hope During The Holidays
Caring Ways To Brighten The Holidays – Small Church Ministry
