Keeping Kids Safe In Church Youth Group

This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission from purchased products at no additional cost to you. See my full disclosure here.

Keeping kids safe in youth group isn’t hard. It just takes intentionality. Add these tips to your routine to protect yourself, your students, and your church.

“If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell my parents?”

I wish I could tell you I said “no,” but I didn’t.

What followed that dumb promise was a secret I should never have kept from that student’s parents. I was smack dab in a sticky moral dilemma that I never needed to be in.

Proverbs 22:26 encourages us not to make pledges and the tragic story of Jephthah in Judges 11 warns us against making rash vows. I should have known better in that moment, and I now know well enough to warn other youth leaders.

Looking for a step-by-step to starting or restarting your youth ministry?

Check out the Youth Ministry Bundle For Small Churches!

Safety Tips For Youth Leaders

Being a youth leader is an awesome privilege and responsibility and must be undertaken in wisdom. Read on for a non-comprehensive list of tips to keep youth leaders and your kids safe.

1. Never Promise To Keep Secrets From Parents

As highlighted in the brief story above, this is a foolish practice. These promises put you in a tough situation and violate God’s protective institution that He’s placed the child in. God put children in families under parents, and He did it in His perfect wisdom. Don’t usurp that. Even far from perfect families are an institution of God.

2. Never Meet Privately With A Student Of The Opposite Gender

Many of you will go a step further and say never meet individually with a student of the opposite gender. However, for some of you in smaller churches, this may be unavoidable. I do think it is most wise for men to disciple boys and women to disciple girls, but I have, as a man, discipled a girl one-on-one. But if/when you do, you must meet in public.

Coffee shops are your best friend. Do your Bible study in a busy, public setting. This protects the student and you from real or alleged incidents.

3. Avoid More Than Surface-Level Texting Or Messaging

How often do we need to see a Christian leader fall before we amend our ways? Be above reproach. If you are married, let your spouse have full access to your texts, messages, DMs, etc. Don’t send a message to a student that you wouldn’t say aloud in front of their parents. Don’t let a student engage you in a way you wouldn’t read aloud in front of your spouse and pastor. Protect their heart, protect the heart of your spouse (if you have one), and protect the witness of Christ by guarding your words.

4. Take Every Accusation Seriously

During the #metoo movement, there was a saying that was propagated: “Believe all women.” I don’t think that’s the most helpful phrase. Proposing a better phrase, I say: “Take all accusations seriously.”

I had a student that was on a trip with another church group and was touched wildly inappropriately. When she told the pastor he dismissed her because the boy was a really nice kid and wouldn’t do it. The church group didn’t know her and they knew him. I sat in the pastor’s office as he blindly dismissed all she had to say. Needless to say, I was angry to my core, and so were her parents. The students in our groups, even the nice kids, are infected with the cancer of sin that is able to corrupt in ways we would never expect. We must take accusations seriously. Do we blindly believe all accusers? No, but we don’t blindly dismiss them either. If we fail in this way, we may leave students with scars that run deep.

5. Ask Your Elders/Pastor(s) For Direction In Keeping Your Kids Safe

While the tips in this blog are wise, the accountability of your ministry lies in your local church.

This blog isn’t your designated shepherd. Let your shepherds shepherd you and help you shepherd your students. Ask them what policies they would recommend. They may know situations in families that you don’t know, and that may mean the world in terms of the protection of the students and leaders. Let them lead you and help you lead the kids entrusted to you.

Creating & Following Safety Policies Demonstrates You Care

I feel the need at this point to encourage you to remember why you answered the call in your small church to minister to youth. Most of us are volunteers, we don’t serve the youth as part of a paid job description. Most of us don’t like thinking about policies that protect kids. In fact, you likely don’t like thinking about policies at all.

You serve in youth ministry because you like students and you love the Lord. Let me assure you that most of your energy will indeed be spent on teaching and relationship-building with teens and/or preteens. Most of your limited time and energy in youth ministry will be expended on the youth for the glory of God.

However, if we fail to protect these students, we’ve failed to love them. Following a few basic guidelines and having Holy Spirit, Bible-infused common sense will go a long way in keeping your heart, soul, mind, and strength on what you enjoy doing and, God willing, not on mending hearts that were broken in the very church ministry intended for their good.

May God be gracious and may His will be to use your planning to ensure that your youth ministry be a place of growth and not pain, of abundant life and not deep hurt.

5 Steps To A Perfect Lock-In For A Small Youth Group

Matt Ray is a radio host, father of three, foster-father, husband, and volunteer at Grace Baptist Church in Waverly, IA. He strives to faithfully serve Christ and hear “Well done good and faithful servant.”