Why People Choose Small Churches And How To Help Them Stay

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There are a lot of small churches in the world. For more than a dozen years, I’ve had the honor to teach thousands of pastors and church leaders all over the U.S. and around the world about the value and the unique gifts of the small congregation.

I’ve also talked with countless small church members. And when I do, I love asking them, “Why do you attend a small church? ”

I’ve heard a variety of answers, including:

• “It’s the church I grew up in.”
• “I don’t like big churches.”
• “I like knowing everyone.”

But almost everyone gives me at least one of the following responses:

• “The pastor knows my name.”
• “I can make a difference here.”

So, let’s look at these two overwhelming reasons why people choose small churches and how to encourage them to stay.

Why People Choose Small Churches

1. “The Pastor Knows My Name”

People phrase this response in a variety of ways, like “The pastor always says hello” or “I can call the pastor when I have a need.” They may even frame it negatively (“I attended a big church for years, and the pastor had no idea who I was”), but for over 90 percent of small church members I’ve talked to, having a personal connection to the pastor means a lot.

It seems there are a whole lot of Christians who have this weird idea that they want to be pastored—by their pastor!

That’s not a dig against big churches. Over half of American Christians attend large churches, and I know as many mature believers from those churches as I do from small ones. They’re being pastored by their small-group leader or Bible group teacher. As long as they’re being discipled and pastored, it doesn’t matter that the main Sunday speaker doesn’t know their name.

But small church members are almost certainly there because having a personal connection with the pastor matters to them. It gives them a sense of belonging, helps them grow in their faith, and is often a huge part of their accountability system.

2. “I Can Make A Difference Here”

The second biggest response I get to “Why do you attend a small church? ” is the fact that a small church needs people to use their gifts. When they’re missing, they’re missed.

Here’s an example: imagine you play guitar occasionally. You’re not great, but you can strum along with most songs. You won’t qualify to be on the worship team in a big church until you get a lot better.

But if you play a little bit of guitar and you show up at a small church? You could be leading worship in a month!

Here’s another example. If you take one healthy church of 1,000 and compare it to 20 healthy churches averaging 50, those small churches will have:

• Far more volunteers
• More per capita giving
• A lot more people in leadership
• More people called into full-time ministry
• They’ll even have more pastors!

People step up in small churches because people need to step up in them. And that need is one of the main reasons for worshiping and serving in a small church.

People need to feel needed.

How You Can Help Them Stay

1. Connect With People Outside The Pulpit

When I was in Bible college, I was taught a lot about how to do ministry from the pulpit, but I was taught almost nothing about how to do ministry in the church lobby. And that emphasis was reinforced by almost every pastor conference I’ve attended.

Here’s a primary lesson I’ve learned in over 40 years of small church ministry:

The bigger the church, the more important pulpit ministry is, but the smaller the church, the more important lobby ministry is.

I have a high view of the importance of preaching the Bible, but in the small church you will have far more influence on people’s day-to-day lives by the connections you make with them in the church lobby than you will from the platform.

As small church leaders, we need to pay at least as much attention to connecting with people on a personal level as we spend preparing to preach on Sunday.

2. Honor What They Offer

Big churches need people who have spent years being trained in skills that match the needs of a large organizational structure. Those aren’t necessarily higher skills; they’re just specific to big churches, and they require a lot of time to learn.

But in small churches, most ministry positions can be filled by people who are learning how to do it as they’re doing it.

Because of this, we sometimes think of these as lesser skills. But they’re not less than; they’re just small church specific. When people take the brave leap to help in a ministry where they have little or no experience, they need to feel honored in the way we treat them, what we expect from them, how we train them, and how often we thank them.

3. Teach Permanent Volunteers How To Lead

In big churches, permanent leaders (department heads, staff pastors, and so on) are usually hired based on skills they learned elsewhere, while volunteers sign up for occasional events under their leadership. But in small churches, both the permanent and occasional helpers do it on a volunteer basis.

The biggest mistake I see pastors making with small church volunteers is this: we delegate a task without training them. And then, when they inevitably don’t live up to our expectations, we take it back while complaining that we can’t get good helpers.

Remember, they’re learning as they go. Train them. Follow up. Be forgiving and be thankful.

4. Give Them The Keys (Literally And Figuratively)

People need to have an amount of authority that matches their responsibility.

If you trust them to do a task, trust them with enough authority to accomplish it. In the beginning, their authority should be limited, but as they prove themselves, it should increase.

This balance is essential because

• Authority without responsibility creates committees.
• Responsibility without authority produces burnout.
• Responsibility with authority attracts passionate, teachable, highly motivated volunteers and leaders.

Why It Matters

Small churches have a unique and irreplaceable place in the body of Christ. People don’t just attend out of habit. They stay because they feel known, needed, and spiritually connected.

As leaders, we have the opportunity to nurture that connection by being present, empowering others, and valuing what each person brings. When we do, we’re not just helping people stay, but also we’re helping them grow.

Read More:

How to Lead Church Volunteers With Purpose

5 Ways to Lead a Christ-Centered Volunteer Ministry

7 Caring Ways To Increase Volunteer Signups In Your Church