9 Key Ways To Prioritize Relationships In Women’s Ministry

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In women’s ministry, we can get so caught up in the doing that we forget about the being – specifically, being in relationship with the women we’re supposed to be ministering to. If you’re feeling a disconnect in your women’s ministry, you’re not alone. Choosing to prioritize relationships in women’s ministry isn’t just a nice idea; it’s essential to creating meaningful, lasting impact in the lives of the women you serve. We are great at doing the good things … but what about doing the best things?

The Best Ways To Identify What You’re Putting Energy Into

If we’re honest, there’s often a misalignment between what we say our priorities are and what they actually are. How can we tell where our true priorities lie? Two things never lie: our calendars and our checkbooks (or bank accounts, or budgeting apps). They reveal where we really spend our time, talents, and treasures.

If we want to prioritize healthy living, but our bank account or credit card statements reveal Starbucks runs and fast food, can we really say we are committed to prioritizing healthy living? We can say we prioritize time at home with our kids, but if our calendars are overwhelmed by color-coded activities for each kiddo for most days of the week, can we really say we are prioritizing that coveted quiet time at home?

None of these things are bad, necessarily, but they do reveal a disconnect between what we say we want and what we actually do. Take the litmus test for yourself: what does your Google calendar and budgeting app reveal about where you prioritize your time and money?

This same discrepancy is incredibly common in ministry. We say relationships are our priority, but our calendars are filled with event planning meetings, curriculum development, and decor committees. Meanwhile, those coffee dates with women in our ministry keep getting pushed to “next week.”

Time Audit

Do a quick review of the past month. How many hours did you spend planning events versus having meaningful conversations with the women in your ministry? How much time went into crafting the perfect Bible study materials versus praying with someone who’s struggling?

This isn’t about guilt (we’ve all been there!), but about honest assessment. When we see the imbalance in black and white, it becomes much easier to make intentional changes.

Value Assessment

Ask yourself: what do you celebrate in your women’s ministry? Do you get more excited about attendance numbers or about the stories of connection and spiritual growth? What gets highlighted in church newsletters or announcements – the success of an event or the relationships being formed?

What we celebrate reveals what we truly value. If relationship building isn’t being celebrated, it probably isn’t being prioritized.

Why Are Relationships In Women’s Ministry So Vital?

Before we dive into the practical how-tos, let’s remember why relationships deserve to be at the center of our ministry efforts:

First, ministry happens across relational lines. Without genuine connections, we’re just running programs, not transforming lives. We were designed to be in the context of relationship – that’s the model Jesus established with His disciples.

Moreover, women are wired for connection. While this isn’t universally true (personality matters!), many women process their spiritual growth through conversation and community. When we neglect relationships, we’re ignoring a God-designed pathway for women to encounter Him.

Third, relationships create sustainability. Programs come and go, but relationships endure. A women’s ministry built on authentic connections will weather leadership transitions, church changes, cultural shifts, and pandemics far better than one built on programming alone.

Finally, relationships fulfill the “one another” commands of Scripture. We’re called to love one another, bear one another’s burdens, encourage one another – none of which can happen without intentional relationship building.

Now, let’s get practical about how to make relationships a true priority in your women’s ministry.

9 Ways To Prioritize Relationships In Women’s Ministry

1. Embrace Small Touchpoints

It doesn’t need to be all or nothing. Not every relationship-sustaining interaction needs to be a full-blown lunch or coffee date. Try sharing pics of your daily devotional, sending a voice note praying over another woman, or just dropping a text that says, “You were on my heart today. How can I pray for you?” A little can go a long way.

Potential challenges: Finding the right balance between being thoughtful and overwhelming someone with communication.

Tip for success: Create a simple system, such as reaching out to two different women each day with a quick text or voice message. Small, consistent touchpoints can mean more than occasional grand gestures.

2. Schedule Relationship Time

It may have seemed like I was bashing calendars above… that’s not it at all, but let’s not let our calendars reflect a different reality than the one God has put on our hearts to be obedient to. Amen?!

If you need some extra help remembering: schedule it all – actual get-togethers as well as reminders to reach out in some other way. Block out time specifically for relationship building, just as you would for any other important ministry task.

Potential challenges: When things get busy, these relationship appointments are often the first to be sacrificed.

Tip for success: Treat these appointments as non-negotiable. If you absolutely must reschedule, do it immediately rather than letting it fall off your calendar entirely.

3. Create Standing Appointments

Maybe you meet with a particular person about once a season. Create a standing gathering time (a favorite of mine). In other words, you meet with the Ladies-Night-Out Coordinator at 9 AM on the first Monday, every three months. This removes the friction of having to coordinate schedules each time.

Potential challenges: Standing appointments can sometimes feel rigid or obligatory rather than natural.

Tip for success: Keep the structure but vary the activities. Sometimes meet for coffee, other times for a walk, or even a quick phone call if life gets hectic. The consistency of connection matters more than the format.

4. Schedule Your Next Meeting Before Ending The Current One

This is relationship momentum at its finest. Before you part ways, pull out your calendars and set the next date. Yes, life happens, and not every gathering will be kept, but it keeps them on your radar so that less time will occur between get-togethers than if there were no planning at all.

Potential challenges: Feeling presumptuous about scheduling far in advance when you’re still developing a relationship.

Tip for success: Start with a light suggestion: “I’d love to continue this conversation. Would you be open to meeting again in a few weeks?” Once they agree, move to specifics about when.

5. Track Your Relationship Investments

If there’s someone you are pouring into, depending on how many people you are building relationships with, it can seem overwhelming to remember who is “next” or who might have fallen through the cracks that week the whole household came down with the stomach bug and you survived on a steady diet of saltines and ginger ale. Who do I meet with next? I forgot who I was supposed to see last week. We got you!

Low-tech solution: Get a small stack of index cards and write each woman’s name on one. As you interact with each (whether 1:1, small group, etc.), write the date on the back and move it to the back of the pile. You’ll always see those who have been seen less recently in the front!

High-tech solution: If you have Planning Center or some other church management software, you can accomplish this through Workflows (or something similar). Just input everyone you want to be intentional about. As you meet, drop a quick note and/or move them through the workflow so you know they have had a fairly recent touchpoint, and move on!

Potential challenges: Feeling like you’re “systematizing” relationships or turning friendship into a task.

Tip for success: Remember that the system serves the relationship, not the other way around. The goal isn’t to check boxes but to ensure no one falls through the cracks, especially the quieter women who might not naturally seek connection.

6. Pray Intentionally About Your Relationships

Ask God to help you prioritize the women in your life with whom you do ministry. He will help you! There is so much we can be distracted by, but if you proactively ask for God’s help in this area, it will be that much easier to reach out when the enemy prefers you keep to yourself.

Prayer helps us see people as God sees them and reminds us that ministry is ultimately His work, not ours. It also helps us discern which relationships need extra attention in different seasons.

Potential challenges: Forgetting to pray specifically about relationships when prayer time is limited.

Tip for success: Keep a small list of the women in your ministry in your Bible or prayer journal. Rotate through praying for specific relationships each day, asking God to show you how to invest in that particular relationship.

7. Recognize You Can’t Do It All (And That’s OK!)

We aren’t supposed to do it all. Jesus is the only one who perfectly manifested all the spiritual gifts all the time and in all circumstances. That means you need ministry partners who can come alongside you.

When we recognize that we can’t do it all, we should have a natural desire to connect with others who can, collectively. As we always say at my home church and as I mentioned above, ministry happens across relational lines. If we don’t have relationships, then we have something, but we don’t have ministry.

Potential challenges: Feeling like you’re failing if you can’t personally connect deeply with every woman in your ministry.

Tip for success: Identify women with complementary relationship styles and gifts. Some women are great at deep one-on-one conversations; others excel at creating group environments where connections can form. Embrace this diversity in your women’s ministry team!

8. Develop Your Prayer Shield

Others won’t know how to pray for you unless you tell them how! Let a group of women know that you are working on your priorities and could use prayers for prioritizing the female ministry relationships in your life.

Not only will their prayers magnify your own, but chances are some of those in your prayer shield are the very ones you want to be more intentional about building relationships with. You’ve also just created natural accountability partners.

Potential challenges: Vulnerability can be scary, especially for leaders who feel pressure to have it all together.

Tip for success: Start small with one or two trusted women, then gradually expand your prayer shield as you become more comfortable with the practice. Be specific about how they can pray for you in your relationship-building efforts.

9. Make Your Events Relationship-Focused

Here’s a game-changer: what if every women’s ministry event was designed with relationship-building as a primary goal, not just a nice side effect? Instead of measuring success by attendance, measure it by the number of new connections made or existing relationships deepened.

This might mean fewer, smaller events with more intentional interaction. It might mean adding 20 minutes of structured fellowship time to your Bible studies. It could mean rethinking your room setup to encourage conversation rather than passive listening.

Potential challenges: Balancing content delivery (Bible studies, teaching, etc.) with relationship-building time.

Tip for success: Build relationship moments directly into your event plans. For example, include discussion questions that encourage personal sharing, not just Bible knowledge. Create intentional pairing or small group moments, even within larger gatherings.

Moving Forward with Intention

Prioritizing relationships in women’s ministry isn’t about adding one more thing to your to-do list. It’s about reconsidering everything already on that list through the lens of relationship.

When planning your next Bible study, ask: How will this deepen relationships? When evaluating a past event, ask: Did this create space for meaningful connection? When training leaders, ask: Are we equipping them to build relationships or just run programs?

The beautiful thing about making relationships your priority is that everything else in ministry tends to fall into place around it. Women who feel genuinely connected are more engaged in church community, more committed to spiritual growth, and more likely to invite others into that experience.

Remember, Jesus didn’t run programs; He built relationships. Through those relationships, He changed the world. Your women’s ministry can do the same – one coffee date, prayer text, or small group conversation at a time.

What step will you take this week to put relationships back at the center of your ministry? Your calendar is waiting for your answer.

Read More:

9 Meaningful Tips To Strengthen Your Women’s Ministry

3 Intentional Women’s Ministry Fellowship Ideas

7 Effective Ways To Start Building A Women’s Ministry Team