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Are you looking for ways to connect with the younger women at your church on a deeper level? Is interaction lacking between the younger and the older? It’s time to bridge the gap. See how God can work in your small church when you apply these four tips to reach younger women at your church.
But before we get into the four tips, keep in mind …
The Face To Face Reality Of Post-2020
Face-to-face interactions seem harder and harder to come by these days. Everyone is so spread out, distant –– “socially distant” –– but more than that, we’ve become not just distant but removed from each other.
Coming out of a pandemic that forced everyone to be apart, coming back together is, at times, almost equally as hard.
Being apart was a struggle for everyone. However, the younger generation took the worst hit developmentally. The digital age was already stunting the younger generations’ social development; the pandemic only pushed things over the edge.
And now … we are still living in an epidemic of loneliness. And younger women in the church need to be reached desperately.
There isn’t a magic formula to bridge the gap in connection that’s been caused by –– you name it –– the pandemic, technology, or all the other factors we can’t account for. But there are practical ways you can start connecting deeper with the younger women at your church.
Looking for a step-by-step guide to starting or restarting your women’s ministry?
Check out the Women’s Ministry Bundle For Small Churches!
4 Tips To Reach Younger Women
1. Take The Initiative To Reach Out
When you approach younger women at your church, be clear about what you’re initiating.
For example, if you’re having a conversation with a girl at your church …
- Say, “We should get together for coffee sometime!”
- Follow it up by saying you will reach out to her later (and follow up)
- Exchange phone numbers right then and there.
She will leave the conversation with clarity, not confusion about whether she should reach out to you or wait for you to reach out later.
What Are You Waiting For?
We live in too broken of a world and too short of a life not to say something or do something that shows someone else we care.
Tell that woman at your church you want to be their friend and not just an acquaintance. Or ask that girl who sits by herself to come with you to the next event or sit next to you during service.
Are you waiting for someone else to make the first move? She may make the first move if you wait it out longer; she may not. But do you really need to wait to see if they’ll initiate?
In these situations, I think sometimes what we really want isn’t for someone to initiate. We want them to reciprocate the love we already have for them.
With that being said, show the younger women in your church you love what it means to be the first one to initiate a connection. Start the connection because God calls us to love our neighbor as we’d want to be loved ourselves.
Check out these questions to make a deeper connection.
Reaching The 20’s & 30’s Women
Don’t take rejection personally. I encourage you to be the first to initiate with one of the younger girls at your church. But keep in mind, they might not be as used to someone asking them in person versus text to hang out or further the conversation past “in passing on a Sunday.”
Even if this may not be your preferred method, try initiating through text first if you don’t know them as well. This can help them be more comfortable and in control if they need to sit with it for a bit before responding.
Prepare yourself for the possibility they may genuinely appreciate your gesture, but won’t take you up on it right away. Some may, but it’s possible they are still working through some things on their own, and they’re not ready.
This isn’t a personal offense toward you! Your gesture may have given them a breath of fresh air! But let them work at their own pace.
2. How To Promote Events For Women’s Ministry
If you’re hosting a women’s event, advertise it with the intention of connecting people. More often than not, people go to events for the people. Let them know there will be an opportunity for fellowship at the event.
Their motivation to attend is in hopes that they will make a friend. Or if they have friends, they come so they can see their friends and get their social energy boost for the week!
When promoting on social media, or anywhere for that matter …
To reach the younger generation, avoid phrases like:
- Come for a night of spiritual enlightenment.
- Join our Bible study; we’ll dive deep into the Word!
Not that either of these things is bad, but in Bible study, studying the Word of God is a given. And for the women who aren’t yet mature in their faith, this won’t encourage them to attend the event more. If anything, it can turn them running in the other direction.
She may think, “No thanks! I think I’m just gonna hang out with my friends! That sounds a lot more fun than ‘diving into the Word’, whatever that means!”
So instead, use phrases like …
- Join us at 7:30 pm! I heard a rumor there’s going to be Nothing Bundt Cakes for dessert
- All are welcome!
- Bring a friend, or come meet a new one!
Motivate Her Off The Comfy Couch
Like my example of the girl running towards her friends, her motivation for her decision was socialization. In other cases, the motivation may be where the food is. “Where there’s food is where I’ll show up.”
Be specific. Include something when promoting that will give them a real reason and motivation to go. This is no easy task. I ask myself at times, “Why go if I can just as happily lay in bed watching my favorite show, eating my favorite snack?”
Small Church Cookie Events For Any Season gives six cookie events that work for small churches.
Inspire Hope When You Promote
The last thing we want women to take away from a promotion or an event is feeling shame that they’re not doing well or the feeling they are spiritually insufficient. They may be already struggling. And deep down, spiritual or nonspiritual, we all know we are in need of something bigger than ourselves (Jesus).
Growing spiritually is already the hope when a Christian woman walks into a Bible study on a Tuesday night. Give her something extra that makes her decide to come to that event.
And if they’re not Christian, well, their priorities are different, and they probably won’t be all about the Bible study. But they will come for the socialization or the free meal that was promised.
3. Connect To All Stages Of Life
Between women from different stages of life, walks of faith, and perspectives, we can all learn something from each other. Think about the Ministry Funnel when planning meetings, activities, and events. This strategy is perfect for all churches, helping them reach people where they are.
It’s easy and comfortable to only talk to the gal your age who is experiencing similar challenges as you. Keep talking to her! Those connections are important. But branch out!
Be a mentor figure for one or two of the younger women at your church so you can provide them with individualized attention and time.
Mentors Are Not Always As Old As Gandalf
According to a quick Google search, Gandalf was 24,000 years old! I mean, talk about a person with experience. He’d be a great mentor! I get why Frodo Baggins looked up to him.
But mentors don’t always have to be someone with a large age gap.
A good fit for a mentor is someone who …
- is at least a couple of years older (who has lived through more life)
- the younger woman looks up to
There is no perfect amount of years older for a mentor, but when choosing a mentor or seeking someone to mentor, it’s important the mentor has lived through whatever stage of life the other person is seeking wisdom.
No matter how many years you may have on them, if that younger woman does not look up to you, they probably won’t receive any advice you try and provide them, whether it be practical or spiritual.
Focus on building relationships with women first before speaking into their life.
At the right time and when another woman feels comfortable enough to share their life events and struggles with you, you can make a lasting impact by pouring into and discipling sisters in Christ!
Looking for a step-by-step guide to starting or restarting your women’s ministry?
Check out the Women’s Ministry Bundle For Small Churches!
4. Get To Know The Person Before Judging
Be on their level. Humble yourself towards the younger. As a young professional myself, I’ve heard many comments from people, criticizing the younger just for being born after the year 1999 or for being raised in a technological age.
Assumptions can be made that all younger people are phone-obsessed and terrible at connecting with others. To a degree, there is some truth in that. The pandemic only encouraged more technology, more isolation, and put the younger at a disadvantage.
People Need Connection More Than Ever
We are living during an epidemic of loneliness.
According to the Cigna group,
- Young adults are twice as likely to be lonely than seniors.
- 79% of adults aged 18 to 24 report feeling lonely compared to 41% of seniors aged 66 and older.
And …
- More than twice as many younger adults as older adults experience feeling left out.
- More than 42% aged 18 to 34 report “always” feeling “left out,” compared to just 16% of people aged 55 or older who say the same. (The Cigna Group)
If anything, these statistics reveal how much the younger generation is in need of connection.
Younger women need to be reached out to because they won’t reach out themselves. Maybe this doesn’t apply to every woman in the room. Maybe some will reach out and do the initiating. But if put into a room, I think all of the women would raise their hands if asked, “How many of you would like for another woman to reach out to you with the genuine intention of connecting?”
Don’t underestimate the power of icebreakers to help people connect! Icebreakers are more than fun and games. They offer a time to discover connections and build trust among the women in your ministry. For more on the value of icebreakers, check out Why Icebreakers Are Important In Small Churches.
Love The Younger Woman At Your Church!
You have the advantage in your small church to reach more women in a meaningful way. You can talk to the individual, whereas in a larger church, you’d be speaking to the crowd with the hope that it reaches the individual.
Small churches make a big impact. God uses it all. Even so, I don’t know about you, but the intimacy of a small church makes me feel so loved and at home. I don’t think that can be replicated!
Take the time to get to know the younger women at your church. They will feel the love and care you’re seeking to provide them.
Read More:
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