Why Small Churches Should Stop Copying Big Church Programs

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Let’s be real for a minute. How many times have we looked at what the big church down the road is doing and thought, “Maybe we should try that here?”

I get it. It’s tempting. They have the big nursery with the check-in system. They have a youth group that meets in a space that looks like a coffee shop. They have programs for every age and stage. And we look at our small church and think, “If we just had what they have, maybe we’d grow too.”

But here’s the thing I’ve learned from talking to so many of you and from my own experience in small church ministry. Copying what works for someone else almost never works for us. And honestly, it’s keeping us from the good things God actually has for our churches.

I want to walk through five reasons why small churches need to stop copying big church programs. And along the way, I’ll share what happens when we finally let go of that mindset and the questions we should be asking instead.

5 Reasons Small Churches Should Stop Copying Big Programs

1. You Lose The Ability To Really Know People

When we try to replicate what larger churches are doing, we usually end up frustrated and exhausted. But the biggest loss isn’t our energy. It’s our connection with people.

Those big programs were designed for churches with lots of people, lots of staff, and lots of resources. When we try to squeeze them into our small church setting, they don’t fit right. We end up spending all our energy just trying to keep the program running instead of actually connecting with the people in front of us.

In small churches, we have this unique ability to build relationships. The folks who come into our spaces, they’re not numbers. They’re people. I know a pastor who talks about this. In her church, when volunteers show up, she knows each one of their names. She knows about their families. She knows their likes and their dislikes. And because of that, coming in and spending time is a joy rather than a ministry task that has to be done.

But when we’re focused on running someone else’s program, we lose that joy. Ministry becomes about checking boxes instead of building relationships.

2. You End Up Frustrated And Burned Out

This is the one we feel most deeply. When we pour ourselves into programs that weren’t designed for us, we run out of steam fast.

Think about it. We see a church down the road doing something amazing. We bring it back to our leadership team. We recruit volunteers. We rearrange our building. We pour hours and hours into making it work. And then what? It limps along for a while before eventually fizzling out.

And our volunteers? They’re left feeling discouraged and burned out.

I’ve watched this happen more times than I can count. Churches spinning their wheels on things they think they’re supposed to do, all because they believe that’s what successful churches look like.

But here’s what I’ve learned. When we stop copying and start paying attention to who God actually put in front of us, something shifts. Ministry becomes less about striving and more about joining in what God is already doing.

3. You Spend Energy On Things You Don’t Actually Need

This is the one that really gets me. We convince ourselves that we have to have certain things to be a “real” church.

We tell ourselves we need a nursery that looks like everybody else’s. We think we need a separate women’s ministry with all the bells and whistles. We assume we have to have a youth group, or a certain kind of Vacation Bible School, or even Sunday school.

But here’s the truth. Not every church needs all those things.

I heard someone say something recently that stopped me in my tracks. Not every church needs a nursery or a staffed nursery. Not every church needs a huge youth group. Not every church needs a Sunday school.

When I heard that, I thought about how much energy we spend spinning our wheels on things we think we’re supposed to do. We pour ourselves into programs that aren’t bearing fruit. And we do it all because we think that’s what churches are supposed to look like.

But what if we stopped? What if we gave ourselves permission to not do the things that aren’t working?

4. You Miss What God Is Doing In Your Community

This is the one that breaks my heart the most. While we’re busy looking at what other churches are doing, we miss what God is doing right under our noses.

I know a church that learned this lesson the beautiful way. They didn’t start with a program. They started by paying attention. During the pandemic, someone there started joining local Facebook groups just to listen. She wanted to know what people in the community were actually talking about, what they needed, what made them tick.

And what she heard over and over were two questions. “Where can I donate stuff that’s not Goodwill?” and “Does anybody have X, Y, or Z? I’m going through a hard time.”

Out of that listening came something completely unique to their church and their community. It’s called the Really Free Marketplace. It’s a thrift store-style space where everything is actually free. No income requirements. No questions asked. Just people helping people.

Here’s what I love about this. It didn’t come from a conference or a book or a trend. It came from paying attention to real people with real needs. And it looks different from anything any other church is doing because it was designed for their specific community.

5. You Never Find Your Unique Niche

This might be the biggest loss of all. When we’re always copying someone else, we never discover who God made us to be.

Every small church has a unique personality, a unique community, a unique set of gifts. But we miss all of that when we’re busy trying to be the church down the road.

I’ve seen what happens when churches stop copying and start paying attention. They find a kind of life and energy they didn’t have before. They become known in their community for something authentic, something that actually meets real needs.

The church I mentioned earlier only has about 50 people on a weekend. That’s a true small church. And yet they’ve started something that’s reaching way beyond their walls. They’re known in the community now. People who never would have walked through their doors are coming in, and some of those people are even becoming volunteers. Not because they’re being recruited, but because they see something good happening and want to be part of it.

That doesn’t happen when we’re copying programs. That happens when we’re being who God made us to be.

What Happens When You Stop Copying Big Church Programs

So we’ve talked about the five reasons to stop copying. But what actually happens when you let go of that mindset?

Three things, in my experience.

First, you actually see the Holy Spirit move. When we spend our time listening for where the Holy Spirit is calling us, then we get to see the Holy Spirit take off. The program, whatever it ends up being, grows and thrives in ways you could never expect.

Second, ministry becomes more joyful. When we’re not constantly comparing ourselves to bigger churches, we’re not always feeling like we’re falling short. We’re just doing the good work God put in front of us.

And third, you become known in your community. Not as the church that’s trying to be something it’s not, but as the church that actually shows up and meets needs.

Questions To Ask Instead

So, if we’re not going to copy other churches, what should we do instead? It starts with paying attention and asking better questions.

Instead of “What’s that other church doing?” start asking these four questions.

Who is already here?
What do our people care about?
What needs do we see in our community?
Where is the Holy Spirit already at work?

You might be surprised by what you discover. Sometimes, the most fruitful ministry is happening right under our noses. And we’ve been too busy looking at other churches to notice it.

What’s One Thing You Can Let Go Of?

I’ll leave you with this. Look at your church calendar or your list of ministries. Is there something there that you’re only doing because you think you’re supposed to? Something that’s draining energy but not bearing fruit?

What would it look like to let that go? Not all at once, maybe. But what if you started having honest conversations about what’s actually working and what isn’t?

You might find that letting go of one thing opens up space for something better. Something that’s actually from the Holy Spirit. Something that actually fits your church.

And if you do, I’d love to hear about it. That’s what this community is for. Sharing what’s working, learning from each other, and encouraging one another to keep going.

If you’re not already in our Facebook community, come join us. It’s a place where small church leaders and volunteers can be honest about the struggles and celebrate the wins together. We’d love to have you.

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