5 Ways To Start Connecting With The Young Adults In Church

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As a former youth worker, I’ve heard for years the sad statistics about how many youth leave the church once they get to the “young adult” stage of life. There are many articles on what to do to keep the next generation from leaving, but how can we really start connecting with the young adults in church? That classification encompasses many more stages of life than their previous label of “youth” did. As a young adult minister, you’ll find yourself ministering to college students, full-time workers, young married people, parents, singles, and several other labels this group may wear. 

Seeing And Valuing The Young Adults Around You

No matter what label your young adults will wear, it is important for them to recognize that they are seen and valued in the church. The truth is that they likely still feel ill-equipped to contribute to the church in some lasting way, but they all long to leave their mark. 

Just being noticed will go a long way toward building community with young adults. This results in them feeling like a more contributing part of the church family, not merely a tag-along of their parents or a friend who invited them.

Everyone In Your Church Community Can Make An Impact

The great thing about connecting in a small church ministry is that everyone can make a difference with how this group of believers is affected by the camaraderie and support they feel as part of the faith family. Everyone can impact them – from the official young adult ministry leaders to the church members or other church leaders. 

5 Ways To Start Connecting With The Young Adults In Church

1. Who Are These People? 

Every person, regardless of age or life stage, wants to be seen and noticed for who they are, and recognizing this need in young adults can jumpstart your connections! When a young adult realizes that someone who isn’t in their age category or isn’t even in their class or small group at church, knows them and has an interest in what is important to them, the young adult finds themselves feeling safer, and more excited to go to events and such with the congregation as a whole. 

Ask them about themselves. Yes, you may think that you won’t have anything in common, but (as my grandmother told me when meeting new friends in 3rd grade) you won’t know until you ask! Ask them about jobs, school, pets, favorites, romances…maybe even ask their opinion of politics (just watch the eyebrow raises, if you do). 

Tip: Don’t shy away from hard subjects, but remember – this part is strictly about getting to know them. We aren’t trying to debate… just learn what they like, think, and live with.

2. Make Yourself Available

When a young adult leaves the safety of their youth group and wades into the open waters of big church, or when you have a young adult visitor, they need to feel that they are not alone. They’ll also need to know that you’re not going to start bugging them to do things no one else wants to do.

When talking with a new young adult friend, I like to take out my cell phone and get them to put in their cell number. Then, while we are still together, I’ll text them a simple message: “Hey! This is Tab! Here when you need me!” And I tell them the same thing – I’m texting you so you have my number for whenever you might need me. 

Tip: Save their number in your phone and if/when they contact you, respond right away!

3. Fortune In The Follow Up

Anyone in sales will tell you, “The fortune is in the follow-up”, and I believe the same thing can be said for discipling young adults. Once you have a way of contacting them (such as the phone number mentioned in the above point), take a moment within the next few days to send a simple text.    

Keep it short, and genuine. I usually will say something along the lines of:

• Good morning! Had you on my mind – is there anything I can help you pray about today?

Tip: If you’d rather call, you can, but understand that our young adult friend will likely respond to a text, and may not even answer a phone call. Chalk it up to the technology age.

4. Give Them Their Own Space

This may not be easily accomplished if your small church doesn’t have the facilities or leadership, but if at all possible, I have recommended to several ministry friends to give the young adults their own time and space to NOT be part of the older, mainstream adult class in your church. 

Our church decided a few years ago to create a class for the “too old for youth, but too young for the seniors class”. Actually, it was for the 18 – 25-year-olds – and we called it Adultish. In the beginning, we met at our house across the street from the church (because our church didn’t have the facilities) and we simply gave the “kids” a safe space to discuss their lives and the dilemmas they faced as young Christians in whatever setting they found themselves. Sometimes, we’d have a specific lesson, sometimes we had a conversation card to encourage discussion. We included questions like:

• How has being a Christian affected the decisions you’ve made for your career or school life?
• How do you keep your faith while dealing with so much negativity from the world?

Regardless of the emphasis of that night’s class, we always left time for our priority: discussions between the young adults. 

We had two “seasoned” adults with them to provide Biblical guidance and to keep the conversation on topic, but for the most part, the young adults spent the evening learning how other people walking along the same life road handled certain situations, and the spiritual growth for making decisions that they had to face in real life. 

Tip: If you can’t do this at the usual time your small groups or discipleship classes meet, open up a different evening just for the young adults to have their own time. 

5. Ask For Their Help

Everyone needs to feel needed. Whether it’s helping once for a special task, or helping regularly on the media team or welcome team, young adults want to feel needed.  

Asking your young adult friend for help to make sure the coffee bar is stocked before service may seem like a simple thing, but it opens a door to another way to connect and disciple them… and will go a long way to help them take ownership of their part in your small church.

Tip: Don’t just assume that they only want to get it done fast and be done with it. Ask if they have any ideas to make whatever task easier, better, or run smoother for the next person.

Meeting Young Adults Where They’re At

Reaching out to the young adults in your small church is a life-affecting move, not just for your church but for each young adult you have. Think about it, we are in the habit of asking young adults who graduate from youth group to go from loud, fun youth services and classes with games, music, and usually food… and enter into a lecture-driven, usually quiet class for adults, with generally no adjustment period. But I believe with intentional actions on the part of our church leaders and other, more seasoned members, we can help this generation grow into a confident, faith-filled generation, ready to face their next seasons of life. 

You have been given a great opportunity to show the love of Christ in a real, everyday kind of way to these young adults who have caught your attention in your church. Be encouraged – there’s a reason why the Lord chose to show you the need to reach young adults. He will equip you and inspire you as you look for more opportunities to connect with your young adults in their faith walk.

Read More:

Practical Ways To Reach Younger Women At Your Church 

Keep Your Senior Adults Connected And Engaged In Church  

Effective Tips For Intergenerational Ministry In Your Church