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Responding To Volunteers: Part 2
If you’re struggling with volunteer commitment, and are wondering how to respond when they don’t show up, you’re not alone. Whether it’s a one-time thing, becoming a habit, or a pervasive issue in your ministry area or church, keep reading to learn:
- Why an immediate response is a lot more effective than ignoring it.
- The importance of having a pre-set policy for unexpected cancellations.
- How difficult conversations can deepen relationships when they are filled with grace.
Introduction To The Series
This series on Responding to Volunteers was born out of questions that kept popping up in a free workshop series that I recently did, called The Volunteer Journey. I’m taking common phrases and questions from many people in small churches, and going through them one by one, and showing you how to respond.
As it turns out, most of us who work with volunteers in small churches are nice and caring, and we want people to like us. However, we know that sometimes important things need to be done in the church. Because we aren’t sure how to make that happen sometimes, we’re left in uncomfortable positions or unfamiliar territory. If you’re trying to figure out how to work better with volunteers, find volunteers, or even just be a better volunteer, you’re in good company!
Unpacking The Word Volunteer
I want to unpack the word volunteer. Being a volunteer doesn’t mean that you get to show up when you want and not show up when you don’t want to, not if you’ve already said you’re going to be there. Just because you’re not getting paid doesn’t mean that volunteer commitment goes out the door. In an ideal world, every yes would be a yes and every no would be a no, and that’s a good thing. However, it’s not the reality. Even with the most committed people, emergencies come up and unexpected things happen.
The Struggle Of Volunteer Commitment
Understanding the truth behind why volunteers don’t show up takes beautiful relational work sometimes. The reason behind people not showing up usually has something to do with the fact that they don’t think their attendance is important. I’m not saying that what you’re doing or the task or event isn’t important, but they don’t think that their role in it is important enough. If you’re the ministry leader, it’s not only your job to share the vision of why it’s important, but also to make sure that your volunteers’ presence is valued.
If a volunteer has taken time to come before and felt as though their time was wasted, they’re likely going to feel like their presence isn’t important or valued. If we can take a deeper look at why people aren’t coming, especially if it’s habitual, we respond in a healthier way, leading to an honest conversation. This is why it’s so important to have good relationships with your volunteers so that, in these moments, you’re able to go deeper with them.
What To Do When They Don’t Show Up
When volunteers say they’ll show up but don’t, it can be hard to navigate what to do and how to respond. These people made volunteer commitments and you were counting on their attendance. It’s tough enough to get volunteers, but when they say they’re coming and don’t show up, that adds a whole other weight. So, what do you say and how do you respond? My first question for you is, what is your response now? Do you acknowledge if a volunteer doesn’t show up? Do you call them or ask why? Do you ignore it? Chances are, your response is part of the culture of why this pattern is continuing.
Respond To Their Absence
If volunteers don’t show up and you don’t acknowledge it or you constantly let them off the hook, you’re teaching your volunteers that it’s okay if they don’t come or don’t let you know that they aren’t showing up. Your response influences them. Understandably, there are emergencies, sicknesses, and even errors that just happen. It’s so important to respond with kindness, love, and care while also letting people know that it isn’t okay to repetitively not show up.
When volunteers don’t show up, you need to respond. I’ve learned that it’s better to respond sooner rather than later. For me, if someone is supposed to be there, and they’re even late, I’ll text them and ask, “Hey, are you coming?” In doing this, you’re acknowledging that you need and miss them. Now, if you don’t have time to send a quick text or have a quick call, you still want to respond as soon as possible. After the event, you could call or text them to say that you missed them and wanted to make sure they were okay
Here’s where grace, forgiveness, and humility come in because it’s possible that you may have communicated it wrong. They could have been told the wrong date or time. They also may have written it down wrong. There could have been an emergency, or they could have simply forgotten. It’s better to start with the assumption that something is wrong or something could have happened, rather than assuming that somebody isn’t committed.
Some People Just Don’t Want To Attend
If you find out that there wasn’t anything wrong, or they were just tired and didn’t want to come, here’s phase two. It’s important to explain that you understand that things come up, but that you need somebody there if they’ve committed to being there because they fulfill a vital role in the team. Explain to them that if they can’t come, they need to find their own substitute, if that’s your policy. You could also ask them to at least let you know if they can’t be there.
If this continues repetitively, it might be time to let them know that you need someone reliably there. This would be the time to have a deeper conversation with them to understand if this is a good fit for both of you.
The main thing to remember in these difficult conversations is to be honest, but also go into it with your heart in a good place. This allows you to work through any feelings of defeat, disappointment, or being misunderstood before you enter the conversation. When you can deal with these emotions first, you go into that conversation with grace and love.
Have Established Plans Ahead Of Time
Have a plan for what happens when someone doesn’t show up. There will be times when a volunteer doesn’t come, and it doesn’t mean they are uncommitted or in the wrong place. However, if you have a plan ahead of time, it shows great leadership and will lessen anxiety and stress, as well as misunderstandings and hurt relationships.
I love having a plan or system where if somebody can’t come, they know ahead of time that it’s their job to find a replacement, or if they can’t, then they need to at least call you and let you know. Having a process in place also gives people more freedom while building more health into your ministry team.
Sometimes It Is Just Not A Good Fit
The first time someone doesn’t show up, reach out to them and ask if they’re coming. If it’s happening regularly, then you usually need to have a deeper, honest conversation with them because this position might not be a good fit for them or it could be the wrong time. If it doesn’t work out, there is no reason to panic or feel desperate.
God is always at work and He has a plan. If this person isn’t a good fit, there will be someone else or there will be a change in how you run the program. If you lose a volunteer because you gave them the grace and permission to quit, some amazing things can result from that.
4 Benefits Of Letting A Volunteer Go
1. Freedom
That person gained their vocal freedom. Their yes meant yes and their no meant no. They have the freedom to find a better fit for them without feeling guilty or like they damaged the program.
2. Relief
If that person decides that this isn’t the best fit for them, you can find relief by not having to continue to be stressed, angry, or hurt by that volunteer. You’re able to accept the truth and you’ve allowed them to move on.
3. Relationship
By giving you’re volunteers the grace and permission to leave, you’re saving a relationship, or you at least helped it not get any worse. Living in that tension can only result in difficult feelings if not dealt with. By dealing with it, you helped cultivate a continued relationship.
4. Growth
Another benefit to this is you’ve grown as a leader by not avoiding difficult things. You dealt with your emotions and were honest. You reached out in love, to have a difficult conversation that resulted in some amazing things.
Plan Ahead
If you’re in charge of a ministry area, the best way to avoid these difficult conversations is to have core values and systems in place. It can be helpful to have a policy ahead of time and let volunteers know what to do if they cannot make it. Taking responsibility for our yeses is important, but let’s help others do the same in grace and love. We’re all in this together. Remember that your relationships are much more reflective of your heart than the programs that you run. So often we pour all of our energy into programs that we have little energy left for people. That shouldn’t be. People are the reason why we’re here!
Read More:
Increase Commitment, Longevity, & Passion In Service: For Leaders & Volunteers
