New Sunday School Tips For Building Deeper Connections

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Have you ever been the leader in a Sunday school class where you had the kids all sitting in a gathering circle? You decide to toss out a question like, ‘How did your week go?’ The idea is to get the kids talking and warming up to you and each other, but instead of conversations, you get the classic repertoire of responses:

• The common one-word response, ’Nuthin.’
• Classic popular comeback, ‘I don’t know.’
• Then the inquisitor looks at you and says, ‘What did you want again?’
• Finally, there’s that child who proceeds to tell you every minute of every day of their entire week. Ten minutes later, when you actually manage to get a word in, you thank them for their response and move on!

If this sounds oddly familiar to you, take heart. There is a better way to converse with the kids in your ministry. The goal of this article is to introduce you to a method that could help you build some deeper connections with the kids in your small church and explain why it’s so important.

Jesus built relationships. He saw the people around Him, and He asked good questions. He listened and observed. Jesus knew how to connect, and He wants us to do the same thing with the children that we shepherd in His name!

With a few simple tools and tips, you can build deeper connections with the kids in your small church ministry. This can make a difference in your church, in your ministry, and most importantly, in the lives of the children.

Children Get Time To Talk

 T-Time is the name of a program that we started to use in our children’s ministry. The ‘T’ simply stands for Talking. A time to have one-to-one conversations with the kids in your ministry.

What Is The Goal Of Conversation?

• Build relational connections with the children through conversation.
• Encourage children by allowing them to see their church truly cares about them personally.
• Pray for them and with them, so they experience the power of answered prayer and the comfort of the presence of God.

How To Set Up Your T-Time In Sunday School

Create A Safe Space For Conversation

First, set up a designated area and safe space. It may be a small corner of your Sunday school classroom you use, so the other teacher/adult is in the area while you are conversing with the child. You may choose to use another space, but please note, there always needs to be two unrelated adults/teens in the room. Never meet with a child alone.

If you are lacking Sunday school teachers on your schedule, invite some older volunteers or youth to be room monitors. They wouldn’t have to be an active part of the conversation unless you invite them to participate. If you have others teaching the children, inviting an older adult to join you could be an excellent way to build intergenerational relationships in your small church! There is no better way of getting the people in your church excited about children’s ministry than to let them witness what God is doing!

Make sure all volunteers who work in the program are background checked for working with children. See your pastor or children’s director to ask about how to do this.
The Small Church Ministry Podcast has an excellent episode all about Stronger Child Safety.

Make your space special with fun, bright colors. Hang posters. Add a colorful mat or fun kid chairs to the area.

Create Permission Slips And Get Them Signed

Communicate T-Time to your parents. Send home a letter via email or hand delivered to explain the program in detail to the parents and the goal. Ask for a signed permission slip for each child who participates.

Tools And Printables For T-Time

Create a list of all children in the Sunday school program. Make a notebook or spreadsheet to keep a master list of prayer concerns and birthdates, so that your whole team can pray and cards can be sent for special occasions.

A Favorites Folder for each child with name stickers to put on each folder. This is where they will store their List Sheets.

A printed list of conversation starters and questions. This is called a List Sheet. We’ll share more about this further along in the article.

Some visual aids such as simple printed emoji faces mounted on paper plates. Find emoji faces to represent happy, sad, angry, afraid, zippered mouths, and tired. Attach them each to a wooden paint stick.

A small prize box or basket filled with simple things, e.g. pencils, erasers, bubble gum, candy, or stickers to give as a thank you to the child before they leave.

This Sunday School Program Encourages Children To Talk

After you receive your parent permission slips, it’s time to introduce the T-Time program to your Sunday school class. Explain what you are doing, the purpose of the program, and how the people in your small church care about them and want to get to know them better.

Make sure to share with them how Jesus made each one of us so unique and special. It’s exciting to get to ask questions about what they like and discover what kind of interests God gave them!

Emphasize this is a special fun time. They get to talk about themselves uninterrupted, something that doesn’t happen at home too much if they have siblings!
T-Time is a fun conversation, not a punishment.

We want to encourage the children, to pray for them and to be their friends in Christ. Let it be known they are a valued part of the church family, and God wants our families to know each other and pray for each other!

However, if you have a child who is hesitant or does not want to participate, do not force them. The goal of this activity is to bring connection and joy, never anxiety or distress! In time, as they see the other children participate, they may change their minds, but if they don’t, never pressure them to participate, but make sure to let their parents know.

Once you have your list/notebook of the children in the program, at the start of the class, announce which child will participate in T-Time, write it on the board, or post it on a special bulletin board!

Give the selected child a special sticker, pin, or badge to wear with a ‘T’ on it, so they feel celebrated.

Evaluate the Best Time For Conversations

Discuss with your Sunday school teachers and volunteers the best time of class to do this program. (At the beginning, after the story, during review time, or whenever your team feels is best suited for your program.)

Also, depending on the size of your classes, determine if you want to do this each week or just once a month. You want to make sure this remains a special time and not something that is overdone or becomes drudgery or rote.

How To Start The Conversation

Visuals are a great way to get kids talking and are somehow less intimidating than an adult staring at them and asking questions like an interrogation! This is supposed to be fun and connective!!

Have the emoji faces on the table and ready to use in different conversations. Explain to kids that if they ever do not want to answer a question or talk about a certain subject or just don’t feel like talking that day, they can use the ‘zipped mouth’ emoji, and you will have permission not to talk about it. You want to make it clear that this is a ‘safe’/fun space, it’s not a forced one!

Fill out the form below to get your printable List sheet!!

Print out the “List sheets.’ As the child answers the questions, fill in the blank or circle the answer. Place finished ‘List-Sheets’ in their folders.

Try These List Sheet Subjects

Fill in the Blanks:

Sometimes…

I worry about

I am afraid of

I wonder about

I pretend

One Day…

I would like to be

I would like to go

I would like to learn about

If I had tons of money…

I would buy this for me

I would give money to

I would buy this for my family

I would go…

Emoji Speed Challenge

For this portion of getting-to-know-you subjects, you need a happy & a sad emoji stick for you and the child. As you list different items, you both identify whether you like them or don’t like them by holding up the appropriate emoji face. Encourage the child you will be doing this list as fast as you both can answer.

Here are some items to list:

• Chocolate Ice Cream
• Waking up Early
• Going Barefoot in the sand
• Playing in the snow
• Playing in the water (rain, ocean, river, lake, etc.)
• Doing Homework
• Reading the Bible
• Singing in church
• Eating Brussel Sprouts
• Riding a Bike
• Popping Balloons
• Coloring Pictures
• Summer

As you get to know your children, it will be easier for you to come up with ideas and subjects to use on your ‘List Sheets’.

Precious In His Sight

At the end of your T-Time, ask the child if they have any special prayer requests. Listen attentively and acknowledge their concerns, even if you may think it’s simple. Pray with the child out loud. Invite them to pray out loud, too, if they feel comfortable. As we pray, thank the Lord for them and for the fact God has a special plan for their lives. It is so important for children to know they are valued in our small church families and especially valued in God’s eyes. Isn’t it encouraging when we hear someone praying for us out loud? Remember, children might feel the same way.

Did you know that the #3 reason why teens and young adults said they left the church was because they didn’t feel connected to the people there? Building connections and nurturing relationships with the children in our church is not just important for their emotional growth, but it is vital to the health and spiritual well-being of the church as a whole!

Jesus spent time with His disciples. They were kind of like His own small church family! 

• He nurtured them. 
• He knew about them. 
• He listened to them.
• He was connected to them. 

Jesus’ earthly ministry was a model of how He wants us to live. Jesus also spent time with the children. He valued them and taught us that is how we need to approach the Kingdom of God, like a child. He loved children and connected to them on a heart level!

We need to be purposeful in making connections. Remember, it could have a lasting impression on their lives! As we connect with the children in our small church family, you may also see it helping the children to connect with each other. Just think about it: kids model what they see and experience. Imagine kids reaching out to other kids, kids reaching out to older adults, and adults taking the time to connect with kids. This small program in your children’s ministry could have a huge impact on your entire small church!

So go ahead, follow Jesus’ example by spending some T-Time with those kids. Get to know them, listen to them, and value them. Impact their lives by praying for them. Go the extra mile and send them a birthday card or an encouragement card. Say “hello” whenever you see them and call them by name! Ask about their lives, remember about the test that they had this week or their sick puppy. Talk to them, listen to them, and watch what God can do in your Sunday school classes.

But Jesus called the infants to him and said, “Don’t stop the children from coming to me! Children like these are part of God’s kingdom.

Luke 18:16

Read More: 

4 Steps to Strengthen Your Children’s Ministry

Turn Summer Camp Into 6 Weeks Of Sunday School

Sunday School Tips For Kids’ Discipleship