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Do you have women who don’t attend your Mother’s Day service? Here are three reasons why women may not be coming on Mother’s Day.

Whether you have women who don’t attend your small church on Mother’s Day or you are a woman who avoids Mother’s Day at church, Holly shares three reasons your small church may be alienating women along with inclusive ways to help.

Your Small Church Can Fix This!

Mother’s Day brings out a lot of different reactions in women from all walks of life.

  • Excitement to be pampered by your family
  • Fun sharing special activities
  • The joy of receiving affirmation

But also …

  • Dread due to estrangement in the family
  • Pain because of infertility or pregnancy loss
  • Overwhelm because of holiday obligations

I want to share the three most common reasons, I’ve found, as to why women have a hard time attending your Mother’s Day service. Also, I want to provide you with some ways your small church can create an environment that is sensitive to each life circumstance of the women in your church. Make it a day of celebration with their small church family.

Why Women Avoid Church On Mother’s Day

The day brings with it pain or negative feelings.

Women in your small church family may be struggling in unseen ways. The pain of highlighting Mother’s Day could be just too much for numerous women. Maybe they are having a difficult time with estrangement from their own mother or from their children. Maybe their own mom has passed away. There could be childless women who are struggling with infertility, the pain of a pregnancy or child loss. Maybe they are in charge of making Mother’s Day happen in their family, and it is just too overwhelming to add church to the list of other obligations that day, such as family dinners, activities, or visiting. 

They serve in ministry and won’t get a break to enjoy Mother’s Day at church.

Attending a small church often means many of the members are serving weekly or even wearing multiple hats at their church. Are the ladies who are serving faithfully getting the opportunity for a respite on a day that is meant to honor every single mother? It is so important to offer different ways for these women to take a break and be celebrated to the fullest extent. Being a mother is hard work, and being a mother who also serves in the church can be even harder. Make sure that you find ways to honor mothers and celebrate them while giving them time to rest.

They have too much responsibility to make the day go smoothly.

Depending on what season of life they are in, they may already be rising early to feed their families and get small children dressed and taken to the church for morning service. Maybe everyone in the family looks to them to have a meal, shop for gifts, arrange visits, or plan out Mother’s Day for themselves. Maybe a lengthy service will make them late for a family lunch that they are supposed to be hosting. Or there is still so much to prepare for the rest of the day that they can’t fit church in the schedule too. 

Have You Ever Considered These Life Situations Before?

Do you know someone in your small church family who may be experiencing any of them? What about you — can you relate to some of these reasons why a woman would want to avoid Mother’s Day at church?

I know I can. These three reasons I chose to share in this post, I have experienced all three of them. 

I walked through a season of infertility where I was desperately trusting God to bless me with a child. Mother’s Day was a painful reminder of what I didn’t have and that I couldn’t be sure that God would choose to make me a mother. 

I have walked through estrangement from the mothers in my family. It is an awkward and painful experience to be reminded about how special a mother-daughter relationship can be and feel shame about the state of your relationship with your mother or the mother figures in your life.

I have served faithfully and missed out on Mother’s Day festivities or the special sermon because there weren’t enough volunteers to grant me respite on that Sunday morning. 

I have felt the stress of making Mother’s Day special for other women in my life and running myself ragged trying to visit everyone or host a meal that day. 

There are some good reasons women will avoid attending your small church service on Mother’s Day. The good news is, there are things you can do about it! 

How Your Church Can Do Better For Women On Mother’s Day

For some women, Mother’s Day can be awkward, painful, or exhausting. Your small church can do better for them! Mother’s Day can be and is a special day, and it’s our job to love the mothers of our church, in whatever way they need most at that time. Gather your church community and try these things for your next Mother’s Day.

Make Your Church A Safe Place

Make your church a safe place to be real with the pain others are walking through, and be sensitive to issues like estrangement, infertility, pregnancy, child loss, or loss of a mother. Show your pastor or church leaders this blog post, and encourage them to include the elements of Mother’s Day that are normally skipped over in favor of the happy parts. Plan on how to acknowledge these mothers or would-be mothers who want to be included.

For example …

  • Leading a prayer with women who are waiting for the good news of expecting a baby
  • Giving white carnations or a rose to women who have lost their own mothers or have lost children as a remembrance
  • Praying with women for the restoration of estranged relationships
  • Sharing the qualities of these women that embody a mother’s heart with them as encouragement and affirmation
  • Have time for sharing memories of mothers and motherhood

Make A Plan For Women Who Serve To Rest

Start recruiting volunteers to take over the ministry jobs of the women in your small church ahead of time. That way, on Mother’s Day, they can attend and enjoy the service. If you don’t have enough volunteers to make that happen, find another creative solution. A lot of people can be in service together instead of in classes, nursery, or combining groups or classes for one service. Maybe you change the format of the service entirely so that extra volunteers aren’t needed. 

Make It Easy For Them To Come To Church!

Have volunteers (NOT mothers!) serve a simple breakfast. There can be coffee and donuts, so the family gets fed without extra work from mom. Have the men or the youth serve lunch for the family after church, or better yet, make it to-go. That way, they can enjoy their meal wherever they want to celebrate the mothers in their lives. Don’t let the service lag on and on. Get to the point—honor the mothers—and let them go and rest or enjoy their day. Think about the mothers in your congregation: What would make it easy for them to come to your small church on Mother’s Day? 

I hope this information and these suggestions prepare your small church to be a welcoming, safe, resting place for all the mothers and mothers-to-be, whatever their season in life. 

Find me in the Creative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook group!

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